I broke up with dagis

(Dagis=preschool=daycare)

I was so excited for Calvin to start preschool (or dagis) here in Stockholm.  We had successfully navigated the application system and attended an open house.  I even blogged about (here) a comparison between my experience with the US daycare system and the Swedish system.  All systems were "go" we just needed to complete inskolning or in-take.

Now, to my credit, I was really sure, no positive, that this time around, we were going to do the daycare thing up right.  Calvin was 12 months old, able to toddle around and get himself from place to place.  We are struggling a little bit with his weight and getting him to eat any food that isn't a fruit, but we're working on it slowly but surely.  I figured that he would see the other kids eating chicken and think it was a good idea too.  The 4 days of in-take were supposed to show me how he was going to interact with the other kids and the teachers.  That was not how our experience went down.  I'm going to put this into bullets to keep myself on track but you'll be able to see the warning signs when I did.

Day 1 of in-take -- 9am-11am

• Hang out with Calvin and 2 other kids and sang some songs with the teacher
• I noticed that the doors between the classrooms were kept open and the kids were crawling or walking between rooms
• Numerous times, other teachers would pop in and ask if I had seen so-and-so
• Noticed one girl was sickish looking and was being rocked by a teacher
• Calvin loved playing with all of the toys but I was with him by myself with him for about 1 hour (where are the teachers?)

The only interaction I saw between a teacher and Calvin all day

Do you see the sick girl in the back? I do...

Food?

Day 2 of in-take -- 9am - 12pm

• Met some other moms and kids -- Calvin played with them and got ran over a few times by the older kids (no big deal)
• Spoke with the Director of the preschool who was holding sick girl from Day 1 and as she told me that she had a recurring fever proceeded to say that "I would never enroll my child here unless they were 18 months old.  They will just get too sick because it is up to the parent to get their child if they have a fever.  One girl has had an eye infection for 4 days now and she keeps getting dropped off."
• Spent more time playing with other moms and kids (again, where are the teachers)
• Had 20 minutes of singing in a play room with a slide.  Calvin started climbing the slide and nearly fell off.  If I hadn't been there, he would have fallen on his head as the teacher was distracted with the other kids
• Lunch time -- kids are served pasta and chicken and food is placed in front of them.  To entice them to eat, the teachers squirted ketchup on their pasta.  
• Calvin sat there and cried.
• We left...

So, I was mulling the above information over in my head and combined it with some other things that we had to take into account.

1. The school was going to close in July (as most of Sweden does) and we are moving out of the area mid-July so Calvin would be changing schools.
2. Calvin would really only attend the school for a total of 30 hours for the entire month with upcoming visitors and trips in June.
3. The director of the school said in no uncertain terms that their school isn't designed for 12 month olds.  He should really be older before attending dagis.

Between the safety, health and nutrition factors listed above, I didn't think that enrolling him for 1 month was really worth the stress, worry and affect on his schedule.  The school enforces 1 nap a day (12-2pm) and getting him adjusted during in-take was a real struggle.  It was clear, I had to break up with dagis. This relationship just wasn't going to work out.

When I went to the school on our 3rd day of in-take to break off our agreement, Calvin took the longest nap ever -- a total of 4 hours for his morning nap.  RECORD BREAKING!  He was so exhausted from only getting 1 nap a day that his body was trying to catch up.  I think that we will need to transition to 1 nap eventually, but right now, he is too young for it.  The school is really designed for older kids and their schedule, lunch menu, and fever protocols (or lack thereof) really reflect that.

Jon jokingly said, "So, when are you going to send Calvin to school?  Will he be home schooled until he is 10 years old?"  I hope not!  I really wanted this to work out for all of us.  My consulting work is really taking off and my projects are getting busier and busier. I need time away from Calvin (at least a few hours each day) to be productive at work.  He really loves interacting with the other children and being outside playing.  I just didn't think that his safety was going to be looked after appropriately and that is really my main concern.  I know he'll get fevers and that he won't eat their food at first, but he would adjust eventually.

Sigh...oh well.  I may be on the way to being an overbearing mom but at least I'm honest about it.