Update: More information about Swedish Daycare

A few weeks ago I blogged about the Swedish daycare system.  Since then, we have successfully put Calvin's name on the list of 5 government run daycares that are within walking distance from our house and 1 private school.  There are some limitations to enrollment if one parent isn't working/stay-at-home mom.  Given that I have contract work on the side, I am technically not employed in the Swedish system and this does not move Calvin's name to the top of the waiting list.  The system favors both parents who are working or those who are studying at the university.

There are a bunch of other details available here that are very helpful.  I find it fascinating that the government daycares cannot turn a profit. Here is a copy/paste of some of the more relevant facts:

The state recommendations for public childcare charges are as follows:
Child no 1 - 3% of the family income to a maximum 1 260 SEK/month.
Child no 2 - 2% of the family income to a maximum 840 SEK/month.
Child no 3 -1% of the family income to a maximum 420 SEK/month.
Child no 4 - no fee.

While it is up to the individual municipality to decide whether these fees apply, most do follow this system. However, a municipality is not allowed by law to make a profit from child-care.

Private childcare facilities are less regulated with the recommendation that charges are not ‘unreasonably high’. Even for private childcare, the municipality is responsible for policing the standards.

The hours you are entitled to have your child in daycare depend on how old the child is and whether both parents are working (in which case you can have a full time position) or whether one on maternity/paternity leave or job-seeking. If one of the latter, you are entitled to part-time hours of three hours a day or fifteen hours a week. If you are job-seeking, you may need to prove that you are actively looking – the state will not allow you to just put your child into child-care to free up some hours for yourself each week.

The exception to this rule is Stockholm county residents who are entitled to have a place for up to 30 hours a week even if one parent is on maternity/paternity leave or job-seeking.

However, all children who are four, or turn four during the coming school year (August-June), are entitled to a place offering at least 525 hours per year.

Opening hours will vary from place to place. Some are willing to serve breakfast, others even provide night-time care (nattdagis) for those who work nightshift. 

Daycares

Daycares, known is Swedish as dagis or förskola, are run or overseen by each municipality, are available once your child has turned one and your municipality is obliged to offer you a place within 3-4 months of you notifying them that you want a position (although not always the case in reality). They are also obliged to offer you a place in a daycare as close to your home as possible.

You may find the Swedish childcare system quite different to what you are used to. The foundation was laid in the early 70s aiming to make it possible for parents to continue working (or studying) and to encourage the child’s development and learning. By providing affordable childcare the government are assuring that women do not fall in to the “woman’s trap” (kvinnofällan). Typically the woman’s trap is being at home due to the high cost of childcare and their low income relative to the father’s, and thus not fulfilling their right to be an individual outside the home, to work and earn money, and to have a career and earn a pension.

Day-cares do have a curriculum but the emphasis is more a guide and general reference for the day-care themselves than a rigid outline of education they must follow. Play is viewed as very important at this age and is encouraged for much of the day in those following the national curriculum. Learning is not considered so much in the academic sense, but more in terms of socialising and the establishment of routines.

A rough outline, by age, of the school system is:
< 12 months             playschools or open preschools (öppna förskolor)
1 – 6 years               day-care (förskola, daghem or dagis)
6 – 7 years               pre-school and after-school program (6 års verksamhet & fritids)
7 – 16 years             compulsory education (afterschool program until age 10) (grundskolan)
16 – 19 years           post-compulsory education (gymnasium)
19 years -                 higher education/adult education

The School Year 
Generally it starts around mid August (exact dates are decided by the municipality) and the first term runs through to December/January with a one week half-term break, giving a total of two weeks break with the Christmas holidays. A second term starts in January and the school year finishes in June.

This spring has two breaks in it - a sports week (sportslov) and Easter. The sports week is during the snow season and allows families to go away for skiing holidays. It is managed so that different regions of the country have different sports weeks to try and minimize overcrowding in the resorts. There are also a couple of long weekends based on Whitsunday and Ascension Day.

The autumn/fall term has just one mid-term break at the end of October.

Planning a Viking Themed Birthday Party

Since we live in Sweden, we thought that a Viking themed 1st birthday for Calvin would be super fun.  There are tons of viking gifts and souvenirs in Gamla Stan so finding the right supplies shouldn't be too difficult.  This little cute hat is available at Etsy.

Calvin's birthday is also a very special time of year for the Swedes.  It is Walpurgis Eve and all of Sweden celebrates the coming of spring by lighting huge bonfires and singing.  Winter is really long and dark here, so the warmth and light of the fire takes the chill out of the night air.  Everyone has May 1st off from work as a national holiday and continue to celebrate the coming of spring and the King's birthday.

My sister-in-law gave me the great tip to check out blogs for 1st birthday themes.  However, either viking themed parties aren't that big or nobody blogs about them.  The few blogs I did find had great ideas for older kids (5-7 years) and not too much for babies.  I know that Calvin will just look and crawl around the house so there is no need to plan activities, but I can't help but get caught up in the glitz and glamor of planning his party.

For location, since it'll still be chilly out, I think we're going to host it at our house, clear out the living room of extraneous furniture and decorate the room with a Knight's Castle Play Tent, Inflatable 30-Inch Dragon,viking ship and blue and yellow streamers.

I also found this great website to make a fire breathing dragon cake.  The instructions look fairly easy and I might be a fool into thinking that I can actually do this.  I'll post pictures of my dragon cake when it's finished.  Naturally, Jon is insisting that we do 1-2 practice cakes first.  You don't want to attempt a dragon cake on the first go-round!  I'll also make a smaller cake for Calvin to smash!

Do we need utensils?  I don't think the vikings did!  If you have any other cute ideas, feel free to send them my way!

Why doing laundry can be scary

I finally have the strength to blog about doing laundry -- yes, I'm actually terrified to sound too cocky about mastering the process when it was so initially daunting.  I thought for a while that blogging about my triumph over the washing machine would result in a magical shrinking of sweaters.  Something akin to laundry karma or like the laundry gods were watching me closely..."just make sure she doesn't choose the wrong temperature...as soon as she does, we'll have our chance!"


Let me explain.  Laundry in Europe is not the same as it is in America.  I discovered this startling fact when my mom lived in England for 6 months and her washing machine was not only located in her kitchen but only had the limited capacity to wash only 3 socks at a time or 1 pair of jeans -- solo.  Any more than that and you could expect half of your clothes to come out dry.  So I wasn't too surprised when the washing machines held half of the amount of clothes as my American machine.  What I wasn't prepared for was the onslaught of Swedish language on all of the buttons.  DUH!  I'm in Sweden.  Even still -- some American washing machines make it really easy to deduct what settings you are selecting.  They have water drops, numbers or clear symbols to indicate if you're choosing hot hot hot water or cold water.  These Swedish dials are in Celsius (little conversion necessary) but I have no idea what temperature is appropriate for my clothes.  The last thing I want to do is have Jon's red sock bleed onto my white sweater.  Needless to say, I sort and divide my clothes by color and linen type.  Just in case.

so many options!

While the laundry is free (thankfully!) you can't just do your laundry at any time. There are only 3 machines.  There is a fair and equitable system where you put your name on as sign up sheet.  I chose Monday mornings because who likes Mondays anyway?  Besides, all time slots after 4pm were booked so I chose the stay-at-home-mom time of 8am-12pm.  Believe me, all of those hours are well utilized since it takes a near-eternity to dry jeans and towels.

There is a note on the page saying, "Does anyone know how the dryer works?"

We live in a building that is FULL of corporate housing folks and 2 old ladies who are holding onto their properties until they die (keep on keepin' on ladies!) so the laundry room is full of these large white and black laminated posters in multiple languages for the residents.  One would think that this would make laundry easier. Instead it only makes it more confusing.  There are actually instructions for how to drain the washer in case there is a power outage and the system starts to flood.  Do I really need that level of detail? Take a look.  There are about 10 of these posters on the wall.  I spent a good hour just reading on my first Monday.

Dryer instructions

My experience with the laundry the first time took 3 times as long as it should have.  This is probably because the dryer was out of order and I had to dry our clothes with this drying machine that is like an indoor electric clothesline.  I also spent a ton of time reading, interpreting and converting Celsius to Fahrenheit.

"I'll turn your clothes into dry flat discs that will scratch your skin for eternity!"

Fortunately, the second time I did laundry, the dryer was operational again so I only put our socks into this line-dry thingy.  Things went much smoother the second and third times around.

I have yet to shrink anything essential or dye any of the pillowcases so I think I'm starting to game the system.  I can't call it a complete success because the whole process involves me schlepping a HUGE bag of laundry, Calvin in his Ergo carrier and a box of laundry soap down 5 flights of stairs into the basement.  It will be the bane of my Mondays but who likes Mondays anyway?

Language Lessons -- How do you say...?

I started taking Swedish language lessons at Medborgarskolan which is remarkably accessibly by T-bana and makes it easy for me to attend 2 days a week.  I have taken foreign language classes in the past and really enjoyed them so I was looking forward to my Swedish classes.  Really the only thing standing in the way of me socializing with the Swedes is the language, right?  So, after a few 2.5 hour classes I should be near fluent.  I've also been practicing on babbel.com which is a great free/cheap resource for learning languages.  I almost felt like I should have an unfair advantage to my other classmates.  I'm a whiz at languages AND I've been practicing on a free website.  This should be easy!

So, let's start with the Swedish alphabet/alfabetet.  It looks similar to the English alphabet but is pronounced in completely different ways.  This just throws me for a loop.  Also, there are 3 extra vowels -- Å, Ä, and Ö.  So, there are 29 letters in this alphabet.  YouTube has tons of videos on pronunciations if you're really interested.

OK, so once I mastered the alphabet and pronunciation, the rest should be learning vocabulary and figure out the sentence structures.  The Medborgarskolan's approach to teaching language is immersion.  The entire class is in SWEDISH.  That's all fine and good but I have no idea if the teacher is talking about predicates, nouns, vowels, verbs, etc.  That's the stuff I really need to know!  Without those important building blocks, how can I possibly know the rules of the language and grammar?  Alas, the entire course is like this and I've heard that other language courses in Stockholm are similar.  It actually makes sense because the students in each class are so international that sometimes the only language we have in common is Swedish -- which none of us really know.  The teacher stands at the front of the room gesticulating wildly to get us to understand "and" and "but" which is very difficult to do without words.

There are two brothers/cousins (I don't know) in my class from Iraq who are constantly talking with each other.  I don't know how one of them lives on his own because his brother/cousin is constantly feeding him the answer in Swedish.  We had a "closed test" and it was constant murmurs in the back with the two of them talking to one another.  STOP CHEATING!  My A-type personality doesn't handle these types of blatant infractions very well.

As it turns out, I am probably at the most disadvantaged in the class despite my babble.com experience.  Since Swedish is a Germanic language, anyone who speaks a Germanic language has the upper hand at the pronunciation and vowel stresses.  The German girl in my class who speaks zero Swedish sounds near fluent already -- purely because of her pronunciation skills.  I feel like the slow kid always raising her hand asking, "so...what is trött?" 


However, a lot of good things have come from this language course.  1) I am already able to read storefront signs and listen to the Swedish news without feeling quite so overwhelmed, 2) I get to experience adult interaction after spending 18 hours with a 9 month old and 3) I'm feeling like I'm accomplishing something important every class.  With each practice, homework and closed test I know I'm one smidgen closer to learning the language.  It is definitely a struggle and I imagine I will need to keep practicing but every little bit helps.

Maybe this book would help me make more friends...

Reflections after 30 Days Abroad

So today is our 30 day milestone. We have officially been here for 1 month and I thought, "what has changed in the past month?" Well, here is a list:

• Location -- we moved from warm and sunny to cold and lack of sun.  They give their children vitamin D drops here because THERE IS NO SUN.
• Moving internationally is perhaps one of the more stressful things you can do to a marriage (fortunately we survived that gracefully, but I wouldn't test it out on a struggling relationship).
• My son can live on Cheerios and sweet potato mash -- both things I can always find in a grocery store.
• Pets and babies are remarkably resilient and can adjust to almost any place or time zone.
• The forced transition from full time working mom to full time mom has not been as easy as I had expected.
• I took up ridiculous coffee drinking much easier than I had expected.
• I am a joke on two legs -- my 9 month old laughs IN MY FACE whenever I scold him or say "no" in a forceful tone.
• Calvin has learned to clap, wave/hold his hand out to you and give "high fives" since moving here.
• The Swedish language is not intuitive -- in fact I rely on my intuition rarely since its now almost always wrong.
• Whenever I hear Swedish police sirens, I believe I'm in a scene from one of the Bourne Identity movies.
• Packing my winter jackets might have been the biggest mistake of my life.  They are on a ship somewhere on the Atlantic still but I desperately need them now.  Oh well.
• Traversing Stockholm requires comfortable walking shoes.  
• Swedish MTV doesn't play music videos either...
• Keeping in touch with family back home is easier than it had been 10 years ago -- thanks to Skype, FaceTime, OoVoo and gmail chat and video.

Google Chrome -- fail

FAIL!

So, Google Chrome has this awesome ability to translate content on any webpage into your language of choice. So, I exclusively browse all Swedish websites in Google Chrome to survive.  I am VERY glad that Google Chrome exists.

However...Google Chrome does not always translate things correctly and the end result is often HILARIOUS.  I don't know how much of it is truly what they are saying in Swedish vs. Google Chrome.

Here are a few unedited copy/pastes from content when Google Chrome fails to correctly translate Swedish into English.

From a website about a daycare/pre-school...
"The older children Receive English work books That They cannabis use in school and at home."


Advice on feeding your 8-10 month old...
"An important part of child development is to allow the child to eat itself. In the beginning it will be sunny and smudging.  Arrange it as practical as possible to avoid unnecessary irritation."

From a website describing their baby swim program...
"Once you found a place with us, you never stop! We have new courses for your child all the time. From the age of 3, we crawl swimming lessons."

Random Thoughts

Normally my posts are well articulated, thoughtful descriptions of experiences that we have had recently. Well, NOT TODAY – today I’m just getting rid of a few things that have been “filling up my notebook” as the writers say. Who knows, maybe one or two of these will be fleshed out a little more, but as of now -

Fashion – I’m used to b-school style rules, where we had “business formal” (suit), “business casual” (sports coat/sweater), or casual. Out here, though, NO RULES. Folks are wearing jeans to meetings, button up shirts are decidedly NOT buttoned up (chest hair is so hot right now), and some folks could go right from the office to the nightclub. Eye glasses make folks look like they just stepped off the set of Zoolander. To make it even stranger, normal colors need not apply. It’s not odd (anymore) to see someone in a green sportscoat with red jeans. It kind of feels like an SEC football pregame – and I really need to stop giving a “go DAWGS!” yell every time I see red pants….

Snow removal – When I woke up the other morning to walk the dogs (6:30am or so), it had snowed about 1-2 inches overnight. Nothing major, but I was prepared to do a little more trudging on my walk than normal. NOT SO. While I was kind of expecting the roads to be plowed, I was not expecting that each sidewalk would have had plowed as well. I was able to walk the dogs in the middle of the sidewalk, down a freshly “plowed” aisle – it was very nice! I’m not sure what time the sidewalk plower works, nor what he uses for it, but I definitely appreciate it

Tech socialism – I was reading an article in Wired the other day and I couldn’t believe the list of top-tier startups that were founded in Stockholm. For a country of 9 million folks, they have founded Kazaa, Skype, MySQL, The Pirate Bay and Spotify among others, which is why some big-timers in the industry have tried to explain how Stockholm “hits above their weight”. The REALLY interesting part is that NONE of these companies are still in Sweden. Evidently, due to the tax laws here, it is almost impossible to retain top talent and grow a successful firm. My amateur hypothesis is that the strong social net in Sweden allows entrepreneurs additional safety / freedom to play around with interesting ideas, but once they catch on, they need to leave to become truly successful.

Pay day monthly – Obviously, I am used to getting paid bi-weekly, but here it’s a monthly salary. Not a big deal if you budget well, but if you come into the country with X amount of SEK, and you notice quickly that you haven’t been paid yet. Also, we showed up in Sweden on the 25^th of January, which is the day of the month that almost everyone gets paid. The HR lady told me it gets crazy in Stockholm the weekend after payday, the restaurants get packed, the shop cash registers are slammed and it just gets nuts. Looking forward to next week!

Plumbing – Stockholm is very eco-friendly and terrified of global warming (because Stockholm is a series of 14 islands, any rise in the water levels would flood the city pretty quick). We have blamed this ideology for why every toilet we have seen has two different flushing options – to minimize water usage if at all possible. The odd thing is that all of the urinals I have used here flush almost CONSTANTLY. When I step up to one, maybe twice while in use, then once more when I am washing my hands. They all have the laser sensor, and I do not think it works too well, to say the least. The discrepancy here is odd to see.

Zed – they call “Z”, “Zed”….weird!

Summer houses – I know that in Europe it’s common for long vacations, and Sweden is no difference. Evidently the whole country pretty much takes off all of July. I didn’t give much thought to this, except when I wondered what we would do for that time off. Hotels would be expensive for that long! That’s when I found out that almost everyone in my office has a summer home in the country that they go to. Makes sense because of the costs, but just surprising that second homes are not a luxury for the 1%’ers here…

Finding a place to live – We have 6 months of a company apartment, and so I wasn’t nervous about finding a place to live in July yet. Evidently, I am OUT OF MY MIND. Everyone I work with has already asked me multiple times where we will live in a few months, and from what we hear, the waiting list for a “traditional rental” in town, is 30 years. A lot of folks recommend we buy, but after our Atlanta experience, that doesn’t sound so fantastic. The only other options are to go to the ‘burbs, or to get a sublet, which could have us living somewhere for just a few months…obviously, I blame socialism and the rental rules here for clogging up the whole system.

Dog Friendly! - Dogs are able to come on public transportation and into most stores! At first, I thought it was just the little paris hilton-style pups that were allowed on there. But last week I saw some bull-mastiff looking dog hopping onto the subway, so there are obviously NO RULES. Now tomorrow, we will be taking both dogs on the bus to go to the really big park across town. We’ll see how it goes!

That’s about it right now, but I’m sure that more random things will pop in my head.

The Swedish Daycare System

I am slowly navigating through the process of Swedish daycare/preschool.  Here is what I've learned so far from other moms:

• Daycare enrollment starts in August
• What do you do with your child until August?  
• Option A: You take your 14 months parental leave or you take yours and then your husband/boyfriend takes the remaining months until August rolls around
• Option B: You enroll earlier in a private, parent cooperative daycare
• You have to search and enroll for schools via www.stockholmstad.se
• When this website is translated into English via Google Chrome it makes no sense
• e.g., "The gender is gender not tall" --- whaaat??
• Not all links to schools on stockholmstad.se are functional
• The map takes forever to load
• You must rank your top 5 choices and then wait
• You may not get any of your choices
• Priority for enrollment is based on your child's age and if there are any siblings at that school
• You are guaranteed placement somewhere after 3 months of your application or 30 days after your desired start date
• Costs are based in percentage of your income.  If you make the equivalent of >$42,000/year, you will pay 3%
• Essentially it maxes out at $180/mth
• While this may appear inexpensive at first, you are definitely already paying this in the 40% taxes that have already been levied from your pay

Then and Now

8 months old

6 days old

Calvin's current favorite book

A quick video because I just had to share his excitement when I read his favorite book, Pig-a-Boo.  It's an animal book with pages that have textures similar to the animals -- he never likes touching the lamb for some reason...it's weird.

The Real Housewives of Stockholm

Open pre-school -- Calvin is loving it

Parental leave in Sweden is extremely generous according to American standards, but in Europe, it's par for the course.  All working parents are entitled to 16 months paid leave per child.  A minimum of 2 months is required to be used by the "minority" parent -- generally the father, but there is controversial legislation being proposed that would oblige parents to split the time equally.  They are all about equality of the sexes here!

Given that women are often home with their children for 14 months, there are a lot of opportunities for mothers to get together with their babies and socialize and play.  There are stroller meet ups and something I discovered recently called "open preschool."  In almost every park (or maybe it's every park, I don't know), there is a building near the major playground (there are several) that is open for children to play within with parents present.  It's a clean building with a kitchen to warm your food, coffee and sandwiches available for a small fee, and designated times for sing along.  In general, churches host open preschools because they have the funds but the local government funds the open preschool closest to our house.  

I saw this as my golden opportunity to make friends with babies!  We are on a mission to make as many friends as possible before Calvin's first birthday so we can invite friends and babies over for a cowboy or viking 1st birthday party (we haven't decided yet).  Since Jon has Ericsson folks to befriend, one of my few options is rounding all of the open preschools in the area and buddying up with moms who speak Swedish and asking if they'd like to be my friend.  Yes, I feel a little isolated and loser-ish in all of these social settings, but I'm never going to meet people if I just hide in a corner or stay inside the apartment.  Nobody EVER knocked on my door and asked to be my friend.  I want that to happen though...it would be so much easier! Fortunately for me, Calvin is devastatingly cute and a good icebreaker!

Open preschool #1: Thursday 11am-1:30pm, Rålambshovsparken (I NEVER pronounce that one correctly)

Calvin woke up from his morning nap a little later than usual so we didn't leave the house until 11am or so. We headed over to the park and into what I thought could be the open preschool.  There were lots of words like, "Valkommen" on the sign in front of this building so I hesitatingly opened the door.  

**** Let me just pause for a minute and say how difficult it can be if you let yourself become paralyzed with self-doubt.  Here I am, walking into a building, with signs in a language I can't read.  I have no idea if the signs say, "For children ages 1-5 only" or "Hours 10-2" or "Parents must remove shoes upon entering."  I can only guess what is on the signs but I'm sure it's things like that.  I don't know.  I also don't know if I'm supposed to sign in and register Calvin, if this is really FREE (nothing is free in America) or if people will even talk to me once I'm inside.  You could easily hide in your apartment because it's easier.  It's much easier to feel safe in your own little circle but that world is limited and we moved to Sweden to experience the country and the people.  Ok -- I'm done painting a picture of my awkwardness and inner insecurities; I'll get back to my story. ****

There was a small group of moms chatting and playing with their kids on the floor when I walked in.  Open preschools are generally all Swedish so there was a flurry of Swedish being spoken all around me. Most of the children were 12 months old or so and were walking around Calvin and taking his toys.  It was the first time he's ever had a toy taken away from him.  He looked at his now-empty hand and picked up a new toy.  I met a mom, Anna, who is Swedish but happy to speak with me in English.  She was very nice and told me about another open preschool on Friday in Vasastan and invited me to meet her there.  Not one to say no to an invitation, I accepted and we parted ways at the T-bana station.

International Meetup Stroller Walk: Thursday, 2pm-4pm

I signed up at www.meetup.com and joined the International Parents Stockholm meet up group to make ex-pat friends.  The walk was scheduled the week before and NOBODY showed up.  I was very close to skipping this meetup as well since I was warm in Thelins and enjoying a nice cup of coffee but something inside me just said, "Well, give it a try."  I had 10 minutes to get to the meetup and it seemed like traffic was working against me.  As I turned the corner, out of breath, I saw a gang of moms with strollers standing in front of our meeting place.  Perfect! I had made it!  I introduced myself around.  In the group was 3 Americans, 1 Italian, 2 New Zealanders, 1 Canadian and 2 Brits.  Their children ranged in age from 4 months to 2 years so we had a varied group.  The international cohort walked incredibly slower than which I am accustomed.  Jon calls it the Stockholm Stroll -- which is more like a mall walker’s brisk hustle than a stroll.  I wasn’t sure if they knew that walking quickly generates body heat, which is really helpful when it is -6C outside.  Let’s get moving ladies!

We walked down and back on Norr Malarstrand and headed to an Espresso House in Vasastan.  A great number of ladies peeled off at that point and headed home.  I stayed on with a smaller group of 3 other moms and we fed our babies and completely invaded the space of the two people working on their laptops.  This particular Espresso House caters almost exclusively to moms with children.  There is even a small play area with toys for the kids to explore.  Anyone without a kid there must be nuts.  The place was filled with random mittens, baby food jars, women breastfeeding and random cries and gurgles.  The free wi-fi must have been worth it to the guy next to us because he stayed for quite a while.  I exchanged numbers with a few of the moms and vowed to text or call them if I was in their neighborhoods.  I imagine I’ll see a few of them again on Thursday at the next International Mommy walk.

Open Preschool #2: Friday 11am-1pm

Friday morning I power/Stockholm strolled to Vasastan to meet up with Anna to a church-sponsored open preschool.  Sing along was at 11am, so I aimed to be there a little earlier since it takes a good 8 minutes to get all of the winter gear off of myself and Calvin.  The church was very nice and warm and there were about 20 moms and dads in the building for the sing along.  Calvin and I were learning Swedish together.  There was a lot of tickling your baby’s belly, tapping their feet and making their hands clap.  I pictured the mommy-and-me tv episode of Up all Night where Reagan gets super competitive with another mom as to who can be the “best mom” in the play group.  Calvin WILL be the best hand clapper in the group!

The Swedish sing along was fun.  Calvin and I had no idea what we were singing but there was a lot of swaying, pounding the floor and tickling bellies.  It was fun to be interactive as a group and to observe other parents having fun with their children.  We’ll definitely be back for that group next Friday.

Overall, life with a baby in Sweden is extremely nice.  Restaurants have comfortable changing tables, baby food for purchase and high chairs at the ready.  Parks are designed for children with lots of play spaces – rock climbing walls, cargo nets, etc.  It’s pretty much what we have at Piedmont Park but captured in smaller green spaces dotted throughout the city.

The Ugliest Building in Stockholm is the US Embassy

I sold my car before leaving GA and moving to Stockholm and of course it couldn't be straight forward.  The bank had my car title in their possession and since I was moving so quickly, there wasn't any time for the check to clear and for the bank to send me my title to sign over to the new owners.  Ok, no problem.  Wells Fargo said that they would mail the new title straight to the new owners.  What they failed to mention is that I would need to designate a limited power of attorney, to allow the new owners to take the title over to the county tag office to register the vehicle.  This EASILY could've been done before I left GA but alas, we did not know it needed to be done.

So, the very responsible owners of the car sent me an email with links and all relevant information.  All I had to do was fill out this form and have it notarized at the US Embassy.  This however, wasn't as simple as one would think.  To get to the US Embassy, I had to take a bus.  Fortunately for me, if you are traveling with a stroller, you can ride the bus for free.  Score!  I love free bus rides!  Also, in Sweden, the bus is reliable and taken by almost everyone.  Stockholm has a great public transit infrastructure and everyone uses the bus and T-bana to get around.  OK -- so I hop on the bus near our house and Calvin and I are off to the US Embassy.  One hurdle down.

Once getting off (at the wrong stop), we found a bunch of Embassy-like buildings.  It was in a snowy tree-riddled windy little road.  I pass a really cute red brick cottage looking house -- it's the Italian Embassy.  Super cute!  Oh, I'm so excited to see what the US Embassy looks like.  Will it be a string of cute cottages on one property? Maybe it's a yellow house with white trim.  Maybe it's a red brick palatial mansion with a tiled roof.  My mind is racing and I pick up speed with the stroller.

a sneaky pic of some embassies -- aren't they cute?

not an embassy but it could be if a small country wanted it

I'm looking for the US flag as my marker.  Where is it?  None of these really cute houses have the US flag. Around the corner, there is a really ugly, utilitarian metal looking building on top of the hill and at the top of the flagpole is the American flag.  Waving proudly in the wind.  Yuck.  Really America?  Your embassy among all of these really cute buildings is the ugliest of them all?  Yes.  Because the US Embassy needs a perimeter protected by barbed wire, a metal detector/airport-like screening set up and at least a huge parking lot for the gazillion employees they have there. No mansion from the 1800s with charm and style could provide the security required in the ever so dangerous and threatening environment of Stockholm, Sweden.

ugly US Embassy

So, I stroll up to the embassy and there is a long line of about 9 people waiting quietly outside of the entrance.  I go to the end of the line and start organizing my paperwork.  They seem to be taking one person out of the line (and the cold) and asking them questions, etc.  No problem.  I have my appointment receipt and passport at the ready.  So we wait....and we wait...and we wait.  And I begin thinking that this is going to take a while.  I start tending to Calvin who just noticed that we weren't moving anymore and is vocalizing his displeasure.  The guard pokes his head out the door and says, "The woman with the baby!" -- Alright! Bonus points for Calvin!  We bypass the 9 other people in line (I mutter a half-hearted 'sorry!') and he asks me what service I need.  I say, "Notarial services" and show him my appointment paperwork.  He then says, "Ma'am, all US citizens line up in front of that other sign" and he points to a small sign, closer to the guard house, that was apparently intended for US citizens only.  The sign was tough to see since nobody was standing near it and it could hardly be considered obvious.  Apparently I was in the foreign immigrant visa line.  I should've known to start my own special line for the special treatment I deserve!  Oh well.  We were expedited anyway thanks to the behbeh in the strollah.

The inside of the embassy wasn't any more attractive than its exterior.  I don't have any pics because they made me forfeit anything with a battery during my airport-like screening.  We entered into a waiting room full of foreigners applying for US Visas and I pay my $50 and get my paperwork notarized by the consulate.

Just a side note, everyone I spoke with at the US Embassy, with the exception of the consulate and the woman who took my $50 was a Swede. I thought you had to be American to work at the US Embassy? Guess not...

The only other US Embassy I have ever been to was the one in Brunei Darussalam.  It was located above a Dairy Queen in Bandar Seri Begawan and you had to log your passport number with a guard at the bottom of an elevator who then escorted you straight to the embassy.  The only part open to visitors was a plush waiting room with embassy workers behind glass just like a bank.  In comparison to the US Embassy in Stockholm,  it felt more secure, smaller and less bureaucratic.  Here, I had to wait in 4 different lines to do 1 transaction.  In Brunei, you went to your teller who took care of everything in one sitting.  I had 30 extra pages sewn into my passport within 8 minutes in Brunei.  In Stockholm, I had one piece of paper notarized that took about 45 mins from start to finish.

All in all, it wasn't a horrible experience and next time I will know to stand in the correct/special line.  America doesn't get any points for style or grace but in the end, everyone I encountered was fairly friendly, professional and expedient.  Maybe because they were all Swedish.

By the way, Calvin was not impressed...

The Swedish Super Bowl

Game time with Magnus!!!

So when this whole ”Swedish” thing first popped up as an option we had a lot to think about. The logistics, the job, the adventure, the risks, etc. Shockingly (or not), one thing I thought of WAY more than I should have was how I would watch sports and specifically the Super Bowl out here. I was having nightmares that this year would be the Patriots vs. Falcons, and I wouldn’t even be in the country for it.

Luckily, the falcons removed themselves as a stressor the first weekend of the playoffs.

But the Patriots marched on, and I realized that I would need to figure out a way to somehow watch a game that started at 12:30am and would end sometime around 4am, in a country that might not even know that it was going on.

Lis assisted me in trying to find out how I could watch it – first seeing how we could stream US TV, then checking out local “boston-sports bars” (NOT OPEN for the game!), then finding that the American Club in Stockholm was hosting a party somewhere kind of far away. Then randomly I had lunch with my new coworkers and one lady sat down, who used to work for a TV station in town. I asked her about my dilemma and she immediately knew that TV10 would have it on! SWEET!

At that point, we switched to logistics. I was starting my second week of work that Monday, so I needed to be there at a reasonable time. I also needed to be with it, and I wasn’t counting on getting any sleep after the game due to the post-game celebration I had planned.

So I did what any red-blooded American male would do – ignored my family for the good of the game. We had some pregame pizza from our local place, which was fantastic, then I went to bed from 6pm to 11pm (waking up an hour earlier than my alarm was set for cause I was pumped up), so I had a good solid 5 hours in me. Lis had downed about a gallon of coffee that afternoon, so she was up and had her game face on still. Once up, I frantically searched for TV10, which took me about 20 minutes (20 very, very nervous minutes). Once I saw tebow on the screen, I knew I was locked in.

At that point I hustled to get some wings and fries in the oven (without waking the boy), and made some pre-game phone calls through Skype. I also grabbed some of the grocery store beers I had bought earlier – they were about ½ alcohol, but the liquor store is only open 10-4 on Saturday, so I had to work with what I had.

Getting my fat american on

veggie pizza, pre-game

meat pizza, pre game

Once the pregame started, I was excited to find out that instead of Steve Young, Michael Irvin and Chris Berman, I had three Swedes explaining the game to me. I did some quick googling on them, and Johan was the “bob costas” type – he just announces anything, a pro’s pro. Magnus was a huge guy with a championship ring – not sure what it was for exactly, but I’m betting he played in the Euro-league at some point. Then Kristof was the young gun of the group, and it turns out he had some actual NFL experience! Granted, it was two weeks on the practice squad for the packers, but still. He knew Aaron Rodgers AND spoke Swedish – he was good to go. (I love that in the US you need to be a hall of famer to talk about the game, but here, if you speak Swedish and know the rules of the game they mic you up)

From there, Mikey sent me a G+ hangout invitation, and this was the first time I’ve logged into G+ since the first week it was launched. It was great! We got a group video going with him in Chicago, his sister in NYC and his folks in Rhody. Everyone just set up their laptops near them, and it was as close to being at a super bowl as I could have hoped for. One interesting piece was that Sweden was getting the feed a good 5-6 seconds before the US folks. This had me reacting way before they were, which got a little awkward on some of the bigger plays. Lisa’s guess is that it was due to nipple-gate a few years ago, and that Sweden just didn’t care as much as the US FCC did.

it's like he was psychic

Game Time!!!

i'm locked in

high five across the pond

nice lil setup here google plus

So overall, the Super Bowl watching went great. We were able to “hangout” with our friends and family, eat fries and wings and put down some beers. Can’t wait for March Madness now!

The actual game….well lets just say I’m not quite ready to blog about that one yet….

Milk = mjölk

When we first arrived, Jon bought lactose-free milk.  10 days later, I buy sour milk. Disaster.

Here are two pictures of milk cartons -- you tell me which is the skim milk and which is full fat:

Now...I'm sure you could've figured it out by looking at the % fat.  The skim milk os 0.5% and the whole milk is 3%.  Ok easy enough. I bought whole milk.  No big deal, right? Just add it to your coffee and you're good to go.

NO, not at ALL!  I added it to my coffee, took a swig and gagged.  This isn't regular whole milk.  This is SOUR milk.  Yes, that is right.  They sell sour milk just like regular skim, 1.5% and whole milk.  Gross. We now need to figure out what to do with this much sour milk.  Most recipes only call for 1 cup of the stuff so I'm going to need to make a gallon of soup just to finish it up.

Here is a milk/mjölk guide:

lätt = skim

mellan = 1.5%

hel = whole

fil = evil sour milk that will ruin your day

               

Sleep Adjustments - A tale of tears, snot and screams

So, we have adjusted fairly well (within 3-4 days or so) to the jet lag and the time change.  It has taken a little more time to adjust to the cultural and language differences but that was expected.  Calvin, on the other hand, has adjusted quite nicely.  I think we can attribute a lot of it to his age -- 9 months.  At this age, he is not attached to anything.  He is definitely attached to me (at the hip!) and his daddy but other than that, he wouldn't really notice if things change -- which they have.

The hardest adjustment for me, and Calvin I suppose, was the sleeping through the night.  We had him on a set routine of 7pm-6:30am that was locked in.  We worked very hard to get (and keep) him to those hours.  Moving 6 hours ahead definitely messed with that routine and we all paid for it.  I wasn't sure how much sleep training to do with him while he was adjusting.  On one hand, you can't pick him up every time he cries in his crib because that's sending the wrong message and will delay things.  In the end, we let him get up and play when he was awake at 2am for the first few nights -- mostly because we were still jet lagged and wide awake ourselves.  I made a point to take him out and about with us as much as possible.  We ran errands during the day, explored the grocery store, and went for long walks along the lake.

By the 4th night, I decided that it was time to re-start the sleep training.  It was rough.  Not only was my inner mommy hating the fact that he was screaming these blood chilling screams but I was also acutely aware that we are in an apartment -- not a townhouse in Atlanta.  This is Sweden! They protect their children with ferocity and I was somewhat nervous that our neighbors would call child protection services (or the Swedish equivalent) on us for letting our baby cry for 30 mins at a time.

The sleep training was further complicated because Calvin decided that he enjoyed flinging his body all around his crib.  He had turned into a baby possessed.  Even if I did pick him up to calm him down, he would throw his weight around and thrash at my face and chest.  We loaded up his crib with pacifiers so that he could always find one, only to discover that he was throwing them all out of his crib.  Jon looked at me and said, "We need to get bumpers."  Umm, bumpers in the closest baby store were going to cost $70.  No bumpers!  Instead, I fashioned my own ghetto bumpers to fix the escaping pacifier problem.  I folded over some flat sheets and weaved them in and out of the crib bars (see the pic above). Perfect! Why would anyone spend $70 on padded bumpers?  Oh, wait. I know why.  While sheets prevent the pacifiers from being thrown out, it does NOTHING to prevent Calvin's head from crashing into the bars of the crib.  Whenever he got into his thrashing fits, he would slam his head on the crib and start wailing again. Well, sorry kid.  You just have to calm down because I'm still not paying $70 for bumpers when his original bumpers are on a container ship crossing the Atlantic with the rest of our stuff.

Fortunately, for everyone, whoever built this house in the 1900s must have lined the walls and doors with lead.  You could definitely hear him in the hallway but somewhat faintly.  We survived 2 nights of the snot, screams and tears (without CPS knocking on our door) and now he is on a new nap and sleeping schedule.  We actually achieved an 8pm-8am once! It hasn't been repeated yet but I expect he will only become more regular as we maintain our nightly routine.

When Calvin goes to bed, I scramble to get all of the household chores done.  Yeah, yeah, "sleep when he sleeps" -- yeah right!  That's when I enjoy a nice shower, finish the dishes, clean up his toys and sweep the floor.  The ticker starts at 45 minutes so it's a mad dash to get everything done before I hear his little putters.

Oh and he is totally playing us with his wimpers.  I have peeked in twice and found him with 2 pacifiers in his mouth at the same time -- "how many will fit in here?"  and the other time I checked in on him, he had a pacifier in his mouth, threw it down and cried to be picked up.  In other words, he is completely fine.

Maybe I can sleep in here with Bessie!

Mistakes are Costly

Moving is always expensive.  If you move down the street, you have to cancel your cable service and register your new address -- they charge a connection fee, etc.  However, moving internationally is expensive in ways that most people don't think about.

It's the hidden costs: the ones you incur when you make mistakes.  It's the groceries you buy erroneously -- like thinking you bought a delicious beer when in fact it'll tear your guts out ...ahem Falcon Beer.  Or earnestly buying an unlimited weekly T-bana pass for your wife who then only rides it twice (sorry!). Getting hungrily stuck in a hipster urban deli without any lunch option for less than $25.  You end up shamelessly licking every corner of that plate to get your money's worth and end up hating the fact that you paid way more for too little just because you're in a trendy neighborhood.

We aren't hung up on designer anything.  I could care less about designer clothes, food, or hip neighborhoods.  We aren't trying to be fashionable -- we don't have the money or the mindset to even attempt it.  So when we buy the wrong item or order from an expensive menu there is a little part of us that inwardly cringes with the slightest regret.  Instead of freaking out though, we just look around and think - -well, this will be "an experience".  Sure it's a crappy cafe and we're stuck in a dark corner but we'll remember this tasty piece of cake. Or, hopefully, we'll never remember the lunch that left us hungry and our wallets empty.

In the end, it's the mistakes that are costly and unfortunately, those are difficult to avoid at the moment.  Newbies always make mistakes.

Stockholm City Hall -- surprisingly beautiful

Today we went on a guided tour of Stockholm's City Hall and were quite surprised by all of its history and background.  The outside of the building, I have to say, is not that striking.  It looks fairly plain and like a functional building that sits on the waterfront.  I thought it dated back to the 18th century -- ahh no.  It was actually built in the 1920's when the NYC skyline was growing with skyscrapers.  The design of the building was in opposition to the modern design that was becoming popular in other major cities.

City Hall is home to the Nobel Laureate Banquet each year. You can see pictures of what it looks like when filled with Nobel Laureates.  Here are a few fun facts:

• The grand staircase where guests of honor enter into the main hall was one of 5 options.  The architect had his wife wear high heels and a long flowing dress and walk up and down the 5 staircase options for a week.  She divorced him before City Hall was finished.  Not sure if it was related to the stairmaster workout she did in high heels or not but I have my suspicions.

the staircase was very comfortable to walk up and down -- it was designed that way intentionally

• The heat comes in through massive holes in the walls. Some rooms have their heating vents disguised -- this one was fairly obvious and apparently didn't work well. It was still cold! 

• The views from almost every room are gorgeous.  I can only imagine what it looks like in the summer.

• Weddings are very popular at City Hall and there is a 6 month wait list. Wedding ceremonies are held every Saturday 2pm-6pm.  Couples have the option of a "short" ceremony or a "long" ceremony.  The long ceremony is 3 minutes and the short ceremony is 40 seconds.  About 50 couples are married each Saturday -- that's one about every 5-6 minutes!
• The Gold Room is a mosaic room that is overwhelmingly bright with real 24K gold mosaic tiles.  The local Swedes did not approve of the artist's rendition of famous Swedish figures and did not appreciate the many errors made during the building of the room.  Give the artist a break -- he asked for 7 years and was given 2.  It is still an impressive room -- gaudy or not.

The Lady of Lake -- local Swedes thought she was ugly though the artists used his wife as inspiration.  They did not divorce -- unlike the City Hall's architect and his wife... 

the artist decapitated St. George at the top of the wall as they failed to take into account the marble benches.  The entire scene gets squished at the top -- the horse is missing his body

• I walked up and down the staircase enjoying the "comfortable" tread and imagining a room filled with great energy, positivity and honor.  What a great place to hold concerts, banquets and important events.

I would highly recommend the guided tour of City Hall.  It was 45 minutes and 80 SEK.  Well worth it!