Night-time sunburns are the worst

One of the more interesting parts of Scandinavian weather (narrowly beating out april snow storms), is how light it gets in the summer.  We are still over a month away from summer solstice, but the sun now rises at 4am and sets at 9:30pm.  At the peak on June 21, the sun will rise at 3:31am and set at 10:08pm.  When we first got here in January, this seemed like the greatest thing in the world, but now we are starting to see a few flaws in the plan.

1)      The obvious issue is how to put a one year old to sleep when the sun won’t even set for another 3 hours.  Luckily for us, Calvin trusts his own internal clock, so goes down every day between 6-7 without much of an issue.  We did have to buy some heavy curtains for his room so that the sun didn’t blind him when he laid down, but outside of that we were good to go.

2)      The flip side of the issue is how to keep an infant asleep until a reasonable hour in the morning.  For months, Calvin had us on a schedule of waking up between 630-7am, also like clockwork.  This worked great – right around when we were ready to wake up for work anyways, so he and I were able to have some morning playtime.  Within the last few weeks though, he’s started getting up earlier and earlier.  I think he hit 5am a few times last week.  I’m ready to buy some extra blackout curtains and double up on his room.  But if anyone has any suggestions, hit us up in the comments.

3)      A compounding issue for (2) is that Lisa and I do not have the same internal clock that our son has.  We are very much sun-dependant and find ourselves staying up a lot later than normal.  I’m actually writing this blog in front of the open window, just cause the sun is so nice right now.  It’s quarter of 9.  I will not be ready to go to bed in an hour or two.  This would be fine if it was us two years ago, but our unsnoozable alarm clock keeps getting up earlier!  

4)      All of these issues were probably expected or could have been foreseen.  The one real curve ball has been how the sun affects my work day.  The last few weeks have actually been pretty crazy, and I’ve been working a lot later than I had been in the past.  It’s been a really interesting project and I’ve enjoyed the work, but I realized that I haven’t been getting that “I need to go home NOW” feeling that I would normally have expected.  At first I chalked this up to the free coffee that I drink constantly, but last Tuesday I had a revelation.  It happened when I was finishing up a few slides at night and I had to keep moving my chair to block out the sun setting in front of me.  Once I realized that the sun was setting I started thinking that it was time to pack up soon.  Then I snapped back into reality and remembered that if the sun was setting while I was at work AND I was in the middle of a Scandinavian Summer, I was there WAY too late.  It was about 9:00, and I JUST realized that I was working later than I would have preferred.  I never understood how sun dependant I was until then.  It really affects your attitude throughout the whole day.

 (picture of my building during the working day)

(JUST KIDDING - it was 9pm and the sun was just setting)

And yes, I will post a response blog to this mid-december when the sun sets at 2:30pm or something crazy.  At that point I’ll probably write about Calvin sleeping for 18 hrs a day and needing to leave work by 3pm….  

Jonathan's One-liners

If you've known me longer than 5 years, you might have noticed that my long-term memory is atrocious.  Friends from high school have recounted entire conversations and events that I have had with them and all I can do is tilt my head and wonder, "Was I even there for this? I have zero recollection of what she is talking about."  I feel bad about not being able to remember the most intricate details and history of certain portions of my life but I have found that journaling and taking pictures help capture some snippets of memories.  When I was in Brunei, I kept a super detailed journal on the internet.  The website eventually went belly up as the creators stopped supporting it and as a result, all of my Brunei documentations are lost in the etherworld.  At the time, I didn't bother trying to commit certain things to memory because I thought, "I'll just look back at my online journal and it will jog my memory of all of this weird stuff."  Sigh...

So, whenever I remember exact words that are spoken to me or exact moments in time, it must be because they have left a lasting impression on me, somewhere in my brain.  Some of the funniest things I've ever heard of in my life have come from my best friend, Jonathan, who also happens to be my husband.  In fact, his ability to deliver those quick witted one-liners was what first attracted me during our initial meeting in grad school.  He could do what I wanted to do (but never could) -- in any situation, most unexpectedly, he can deliver a clever comment that can make you smile or laugh.

Most of these might not be funny to you because, like anything spoken, it's really all in the delivery.  But I thought I should write them down just to be sure that these gems don't get lost in my clouded memory and forgotten.

1. Jon was living at 1224 Sanden Ferry (in the basement) and I wander into his room where he is taking a drunken (?) nap.  I ask him what time it is and he snaps awake from his stupor and says, "Time to make some bad decisions." And he heads past me out of the room.  He was right :-)
2. Jon discovered that his mom doesn't have Microsoft Office on her home computer so she can't open any document that he sends to her. During their conversation, he pretended to be her, yelling at him, in a thick Southern accent, "You and your fancy-pants Word documents being all fancy and stuff."
3. "Good team work here baby, now let's just hold each other to it using general shame tactics."  Jon's challenge/threat to me about our goal to not use Facebook or Twitter when Calvin is awake so we are mentally present for all of his little and big moments in life.  
4.  Jon was washing his face and I dipped my toothbrush into the water to brush my teeth and said, "Geez! This water is cold! How do you wash your face in this water?" to which he replied, "Cause I'm a man, Lis."
5.  When we moved into our new house in Atlanta, it came with a big stainless steel grill on the back porch.  I tried to lift the lid and said that I was shocked by how heavy it was.  Jon just looked at me and said, "This is a man's grill! Don't worry Lisa, I'll be the only one lifting it."

I know that Jon says something funny every day so I know I'm forgetting a whole bunch, but those are the ones that stick out to me the most. I think I'll just write them down (somewhere) in the future so I can look back on them and laugh all over again.

You make my world so much more interesting...
my partner in crime, love and well... everything

Calvin's new preschool -- a comparison between US and Swedish daycares

New preschool!

I blogged previously about the nightmare that is the Swedish daycare/preschool application system in Stockholm but in case you forgot about it, you can read all about it here and here.  Aside from the website stockholmstad.se  being almost completely useless and user-hostile, I managed to submit Calvin's application to preschool for August 2012.  With this system, there is no guarantee that you will be placed in a preschool near where you live, just "somewhere in Stockholm."  OK -- well that could easily be 45 minutes away by public transit.  Naturally, we would all prefer one within walking distance of our house so we can just walk the little guy back after a long day.  Since we are only enrolling Calvin part time, I would prefer not to have to commute an hour each way so I can go back to the house to work on my consulting projects.

Needless to say, we were thrilled (or hesitatingly optimistic) when we received a large packet of information in the mail.  ALL of it was in Swedish (of course), so with the help of Google Translate and a Swedish friend, we figured out that we were accepted to a brand new private preschool on our island -- about a 10 minute walk from our place.  PERFECT!  We were invited to an open house so we could meet the teachers and find out what is expected of us as parents.

Joann and Dave were in town for Calvin's first birthday, so I brought Joann with me since Jon had to work late.  I wanted to have her perspective on the place and she witnessed firsthand what we went through with the nannies back in Atlanta, so I knew she would have good advice.

When we arrived, I was surprised by how "under construction" the place was considering they were going to start taking kids in two weeks.  Other than that, it was sparkling new.  Nothing like new toys and carpet to make you feel all warm and fuzzy.  The toys were all perfectly lined up in rows just ready for the little baby hands to snag them.  Everything was orderly and pristine.  They gave an informational session and even though the teachers knew that 45% of us only spoke English, the entire presentation was in Swedish with the promise to pause and translate the important parts --- only they didn't.  They had PowerPoint slides with words on them that I have never seen before in my life.  I couldn't even begin to break them down and I feel like my understanding of basic Swedish vocabulary is fairly solid.  One woman raised her hand and was like, "can I get a hint here?"  Basically they talked in length about their approach to teaching (or I think that's what they were saying).  They would speak for about 20 minutes, laugh, gesture, and then give us English-only folk a 1 minute recap.  I don't think I missed anything too essential or at least I hope I didn't.

Having gone through this daycare song and dance with Calvin back in the US, I found this experience to be completely different.  For one thing, he is a lot older now and my questions are really different than they were when he was a baby-baby.  Back then, when he was 3 months old, all I really cared about was how they were going to feed him, pay attention to his naps, and pick him up when he was crying.  Now, my only questions were centered around how much outside play time he was going to have and the age of the other kids around him.  I felt much more calm, centered and like we were both ready for this transition.

While my mind was spinning trying to listen to Swedish for 45 minutes, Calvin and Joann played with all of the new toys in the other rooms.  He was busy putting objects away and driving on their fancy fun car mats.  He loves opening and closing doors and had a fun time in the kitchen, banging all of those mini pots and pans.  It was familiar to him because we have been going to the open preschools together for 3 months.  He knows the design, toys and he seemed really comfortable.  He didn't even notice me when I came back in the room because he was too busy playing and exploring.  I couldn't help but think back to what a wreck I was back in Atlanta when I decided that we couldn't do daycare because their shoe removal policy was atrocious (they wore those shoe covers outside which kind of defeats the entire point).  Now I just looked at him with a big smile -- he's going to be 110% ok with this.  He is going to have so much fun every day.  He loves interacting with other kids and he is really becoming a social guy -- he must get that from his dad.

Fun car mat!

A few notables on the differences I experienced between the two systems.  This is not to say that ALL US daycares are like this but this is what we were looking at in Atlanta:

Price
Atlanta: $1,500/month -- full time, no part time option
Stockholm: max $175/month -- full time or part time (30 hrs, which is slightly less)

Essentials to bring from home
Atlanta: diapers, wipes, change of clothes, bottles with milk, pacifier
Stockholm: change of clothes, pictures of loved ones, 1 stuffed animal for nap time, pacifier (diapers and wipes are provided)

Teacher to baby ratio
Atlanta: 1:3 (though one teacher "floated" amongst the classrooms, so I observed 1:4 and often 1:5, which is ridiculous)
Stockholm: 1:3

Intake/Adjustment*
Atlanta: 3 days: Day 1: you spend 1 hour getting to know the teacher and letting your kid "play"; Day 2: you leave your child for 3-4 hours and come back every once in a while to check on them; Day 3: leave your child
Stockholm: 3 days: Day 1: spend a half day getting to see the routine and schedule; Day 2: stay until after lunch; Day 3: if you and your child are ready, you leave at some point during the day

*The biggest difference I saw between the two intake systems was that the US daycare was fairly flippant about the process.  It was almost like they were going through the motions of trying to make the parents feel at ease about leaving their 3 month old with a complete set of strangers.  They kept telling me, "yeah yeah, we do this with babies all of the time."  In Stockholm, they emphasized in both languages, that it was very important that both parents and children feel safe and comfortable in the school.  They stressed that on Day 3, you can choose to leave your child or choose to stay longer and continue sitting in until you feel comfortable enough to leave.  You have to "say goodbye" to your child and hand them over to their care provider so that your child knows that you are leaving.  No sneaking off while they are distracted playing!

Sorry mom, I'm busy playing!

I feel more comfortable with our current situation for numerous reasons.

1. Calvin is older -- plain and simple.  He cries a whole lot less so there isn't the worry that someone won't address his every whimper like I had before.
2. Open preschools have set us both up for success.  He knows what is expected of him in these social situations and I know how he will behave and act.  It is reassuring to know that he enjoys all of the playtime and singing.
3. I've done this before.  I've already "left" my baby with another person for care taking during the day.  Albeit we chose a nanny instead of a daycare, but I still left him for 9 hours each day.  I feel like it was much harder when he was younger and I survived it just fine. This doesn't feel nearly as heart wrenching.

I looked at the room of parents and saw the looks of terror, fear and anxiety on some of the moms' faces.  Nobody looked happy and I started wondering if I was crazy for being so calm.  One mom looked at her child's name posted on the cubby and said, "my baby!"  It doesn't matter how old your baby is when you "leave" them, the first time is always the worst.  I absolutely love all of my time with Calvin but I see it as super special "extra" time.  If we still lived in Atlanta, I would still be working and wouldn't have had all of these great experiences at home with him.  His attendance to daycare/preschool isn't the ending of our time together but a chance for him to develop further independence.  I remain lucky in that I'll still be able to go pick him up whenever I want to and it is just a quick walk around the corner.  But I'm not going to lie as I'm also looking forward to speaking on conference calls without a shouty baby banging toys in the background. Professionally, I need some quiet time to get my work done.  Chasing after Calvin to make sure he doesn't poke the dogs' eyes out while I'm writing a paper has been exhausting!

We are going to have to work on their pronunciation of his name though.  One teacher announced his name and I didn't even recognize it.  It took me a second because no other parent moved and then I was like, "Oh yeah, I'm Kelvin Yammies' mom" or at least that was what it sounded like.  Kelvin Yammies...

Some Swedish names and one American name

Ergonomic high chairs

tea time?

I call it a "pillow jacuzzi" and that is a rubber hedgehog in the pic

Other Moms in Sweden

I'm not the only mom in town blogging about the fun family times had in Sweden.  My friend, Emelie, has a super cute blog where she talks in generous detail about the open preschools and fun activities around Stockholm.  Her daughter, Ania, is super cute and Calvin has kissed her at least once so you know she is cool :-)  She also posts really nice pictures and I think pictures tell the best stories.

Check out Emelie's blog here:
http://thelittlestpollard.wordpress.com/

A First Birthday for a Little Viking

I think he matched the picture dead on!

I had been brainstorming Calvin's first birthday party for what seemed like months.  I even blogged about it previously here and detailed out the decorations and various ideas.  Sweden doesn't have any "big box" stores like Toys R Us, Target, Walmart, etc, so finding decorations and simple things like paper plates and cups turned into a 4 week scavenger hunt around Stockholm.



To complete the viking theme, I needed some blue and yellow streamers, plates, and a Happy Birthday banner (in English).  We also needed to find appropriate viking helmets, swords and a dragon.

Super cute dragon and defensive gear

Jon wanted to make sure that Calvin wasn't the only viking in town, so we headed to Gamla Stan to find him an accompanying Viking t-shirt that was befitting a proud papa.  I think we were successful.

I did order the Knight's Castle Play Tent but we decided to make a venue switch at the last moment and hold the party at the nearby park since the weather was so beautiful (~50F and sunny).  It ended up being a good switch since the kids were able to take a nap in their strollers and Calvin was able to convince his Pepere to take him down the slide once or twice.

Cute castle that never left our living room

3 little vikings and their mammas

Slaying dragons is exhausting! 

Eyeballing the slide...

Alessandro was ready to party!

 The only real hiccup, if you can even call it that, was that Calvin decided to take a nap halfway through his own party.  This kind of ground the festivities to a halt as you can't cut the cake until the birthday boy has made his first birthday wish.  Some guests had to leave early as you can't wait forever for a one year old to wake up from his nap, but I made sure that everyone looked at the famous dragon cake before they left.

The cake came out better than I could have planned.  This was mostly due to the obligatory "practice" cake that Jon had requested earlier.  During Sam's visit, we scouted out all of the best Swedish candy substitutes for an American recipe and I had her smuggle in some Fruit Rollups for the dragon wings and flamed tongue.  Thankfully she thought ahead and also brought some food coloring or I would have had to conjure up a DIY food dye.  Joann was also on hand to help me frost the dragon which was really helpful since I had forgotten much of what I had learned from the first dragon.  *Note, the cut sides of the cake should face down on the plate to avoid getting crumbs in the frosting.*  It's things like this that you learn with practice.  Fortunately, I'll have many more birthdays to hone my skills.

It was a beautiful day and Calvin was ready to smash into some cake once he woke up from his nap.  He played with his buddy Alessandro for a while and then we all went home to play in the knight's castle.  I couldn't have asked for a more perfect party for my special boy.