Glögger: If you're not here, you're not anywhere

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

If you're not here, you're not anywhere

For my 30th birthday, my mom bought me the book, "The Happiness Project" and there was the quote in one of the chapters,

"If you're not here, you're not anywhere"

It was one of the author's daily reminders to herself to stay in the present moment. There are so many times when I see parents out with their children but they are checking their cell phones and completely ignoring their kids. One woman was so absentminded that she pushed the empty swing next to her while her daughter sat still in her own swing - for about 20 minutes. Really? Really!? Come on now!

I admit that I am also guilty of mentally checking out sometimes because let's face it, I just don't want to play in the puddles like Calvin does. But those times when we "check out" from our kids or from anything we are doing, means that we aren't in the present moment and it's a waste of time. And every time I really engage with what Calvin is doing, we all enjoy ourselves so much more.

Today, I was doing work and I started listening to a summertime country playlist on Spotify. I instantly became homesick for the relaxed ways of the south. The carefreeness of being able to hop in a pick up truck, head to the river and just be carefree on a lazy Sunday. It's everything I want for my children -- that freedom and ability to let their minds and hearts wander without expectation and to LIVE for the hot summer time. But I don't live in the south anymore and feeling sad about it means that I'm not appreciating where I DO live and everything it has to offer. Different doesn't mean better or worse - it's just different. And I was violating my "be present" rule -- I was wishing I was somewhere other than where I was.

Calvin and I spent a few hours in the sun playing in the outdoor pool down the road. He ran through the grass, laughing and playing with this boats. I'd say he was pretty carefree in that moment, but was I? Where was my head? Why was I wasting these moments with my son when they are already so fleeting.

It's human nature and it'll happen again, but the above saying will be my attempt to keep myself on track. I'm going to put down my phone more and only check my emails once we are having "down time." And I'll even try to enjoy the puddles like Calvin does.