Jonathan's One-liners

If you've known me longer than 5 years, you might have noticed that my long-term memory is atrocious.  Friends from high school have recounted entire conversations and events that I have had with them and all I can do is tilt my head and wonder, "Was I even there for this? I have zero recollection of what she is talking about."  I feel bad about not being able to remember the most intricate details and history of certain portions of my life but I have found that journaling and taking pictures help capture some snippets of memories.  When I was in Brunei, I kept a super detailed journal on the internet.  The website eventually went belly up as the creators stopped supporting it and as a result, all of my Brunei documentations are lost in the etherworld.  At the time, I didn't bother trying to commit certain things to memory because I thought, "I'll just look back at my online journal and it will jog my memory of all of this weird stuff."  Sigh...

So, whenever I remember exact words that are spoken to me or exact moments in time, it must be because they have left a lasting impression on me, somewhere in my brain.  Some of the funniest things I've ever heard of in my life have come from my best friend, Jonathan, who also happens to be my husband.  In fact, his ability to deliver those quick witted one-liners was what first attracted me during our initial meeting in grad school.  He could do what I wanted to do (but never could) -- in any situation, most unexpectedly, he can deliver a clever comment that can make you smile or laugh.

Most of these might not be funny to you because, like anything spoken, it's really all in the delivery.  But I thought I should write them down just to be sure that these gems don't get lost in my clouded memory and forgotten.

1. Jon was living at 1224 Sanden Ferry (in the basement) and I wander into his room where he is taking a drunken (?) nap.  I ask him what time it is and he snaps awake from his stupor and says, "Time to make some bad decisions." And he heads past me out of the room.  He was right :-)
2. Jon discovered that his mom doesn't have Microsoft Office on her home computer so she can't open any document that he sends to her. During their conversation, he pretended to be her, yelling at him, in a thick Southern accent, "You and your fancy-pants Word documents being all fancy and stuff."
3. "Good team work here baby, now let's just hold each other to it using general shame tactics."  Jon's challenge/threat to me about our goal to not use Facebook or Twitter when Calvin is awake so we are mentally present for all of his little and big moments in life.  
4.  Jon was washing his face and I dipped my toothbrush into the water to brush my teeth and said, "Geez! This water is cold! How do you wash your face in this water?" to which he replied, "Cause I'm a man, Lis."
5.  When we moved into our new house in Atlanta, it came with a big stainless steel grill on the back porch.  I tried to lift the lid and said that I was shocked by how heavy it was.  Jon just looked at me and said, "This is a man's grill! Don't worry Lisa, I'll be the only one lifting it."

I know that Jon says something funny every day so I know I'm forgetting a whole bunch, but those are the ones that stick out to me the most. I think I'll just write them down (somewhere) in the future so I can look back on them and laugh all over again.

You make my world so much more interesting...
my partner in crime, love and well... everything