Toddler Bed Transition - the latest in parental punishment

Toddler beds look so cute, in theory.  Then, when you actually have to use them in practice, they look like parental torture devices.

We have/had a good sleeper for 2 years.  For the first 6-7 months of his life, Calvin fought sleeping hardcore and I was willing to go along with it because he was my "baby."  After 7 months of sleeping 3 hours/night and trying to nurse him back to sleep, I threw in the towel and we consulted books and the internet on how to convince our child that sleep was oh so sweet.  We did 8 nights of some exhausted derivative of "cry it out" and whatever happened,  transformed our horrible sleeper into a fantastic nap and sleep-lover.  Calvin would pull himself towards his crib at night, put his head down and say "night night!"  We would close the door and walk out. Easy peasy.  We did that for about 2 years.  And then...

...comes baby #2.  At some point, your toddler needs to leave the crib.  "But we are all so happy with him in the crib! He loves it and he sleeps so well!" pointed out my ever-observant husband.   Yeah, but you know what? I'm NOT buying another crib for our new baby when we have a perfectly good one sitting there and when we already have a toddler bed, sitting empty.  I wasn't about to put any pressure on Calvin to transition.  I was going to let it be up to him completely.   The baby can sleep in the bassinet for a few months, so Calvin would still have time after the baby arrived for his crib.  No pressure on anyone.  However, he did something I wasn't planning on and made the leap himself...

One night I asked him, "Calvin, do you want to sleep in the crib or the big boy bed in the other room?"  "Big boy bed!"  Ok...he chose this.  He wants this.  Or so I thought...

Flash forward 5 nights now and our previously simple routine of "night night!" and lights out, has turned into a re-do of the toddler version of crying it out.  It takes 1-1.5 hours to get him to go to sleep now, regardless of our method.  FORTUNATELY, and let me emphasize this greatly, he does NOT get out of his bed.  Most articles are how to keep your child in bed, but we don't have that issue.  We have the scream-for-hours-on-end issue.   I think the only reason why he doesn't get out is because Jon met him at the door when he opened it the FIRST time ever and that set the tone early on. Even still, the hours of crying are extremely difficult to endure.  And we aren't the only ones to struggle with toddler sleep.

So for now, we are rubbing his back, reading books in the dark in soft voices, putting on white noise AND a music box, (Edelweiss), and nothing seems to work.  The only thing that does work is letting him scream, "Momma momma momma!" for about 45 mins-1 hour and he is so exhausted that I can sit there with my hand on his back for 8 minutes and he passes out.  Again, he has to be exhausted and emotionally drained.  Everything else is not working.

Tips? Anyone?  We had hoped to only have one screaming child in our house at a time but it's looking like we may have two.  How long did it take your toddler to transition? TELL ME YOUR SECRETS!

Passport Update: Munich, Germany + Bavaria -- a surprise birthday adventure!

Once upon a time in a faraway land there was a tiny kingdom, peaceful, prosperous, and rich in romance and tradition."

Those are the opening words to the classic fairytale, Cinderella.  As a little girl, my "princess phase" lasted about 7 or 8 years before I discovered that wearing dresses in an upstate NY winter was neither comfortable nor practical.  After that point, I traded in my dresses for jeans and pursued bike riding, tree climbing and snow fort building with my brother in a vain attempt to win and keep his attention.  I was never super girly in high school or college and I'm still learning how to apply makeup in a semi-competent way.

First grade Halloween party, 1990

But sometimes, old, forgotten about wishes DO come true.  Dave and Joann were in town in April to celebrate Calvin's second birthday when another gift bag comes out of nowhere and Jon tells me to open it.  Inside was a Cinderella DVD and a card telling me to pack my bags because we were headed to the castle that inspired Walt Disney to create his own Cinderella castle.  What?!?! Really!?  I was floored!  I had added Neuschwanstein castle to my "hope to see it someday" bucket list a few years ago after one of my Facebook friends posted pictures of it to her profile.  It's a beautiful, if not crazily inspired, castle nestled within the Bavarian Alps in Germany.  Since it isn't the easiest place to get to, I figured that it was one of those places that I would just never get to see (sigh).  Not only had my wonderful husband planned an amazing trip, but we would get to travel toddler-free (i.e.,  much faster and easier).  Dave and Joann would get some great bonding time with Calvin and we would have a few romantic days to ourselves.  What a great surprise 30th birthday present!

We hopped on a quick plane ride to Munich and rented a car to set out for Bavaria.  Jon was the first to drive on the Autobahn and was a little nervous with the high speeds.  We haven't driven in over a year so getting behind the wheel again on a highway with competent, high performance drivers and vehicles, was a bit daunting.  

Stockholm's Endless Summer

Our first summer in Stockholm was cold, gray and rainy and had depressingly shifted to fall weather by the end of July.  We wore light fall-weather jackets pretty much every day or kept them in the bottom of the stroller "just in case."  This year has been a complete 180 in comparison and it has been magnificent!  We have thoroughly enjoyed 70-74F weather from end of May-present.  While our friends and family in the NE region have been complaining about heat waves and our Atlanta friends have seen record rainfall, we've been out enjoying the sunshine and beautiful weather.  I'm not going to lie - a slightly evil laugh bubbles up inside every time I see people complain about the weather on Facebook.  It's not often that we have weather superiority over our friends and family and I've been relishing every moment.

It's been gorgeous outside, which has made it great for me and Calvin during the day.  His dagis closed early June and his new dagis didn't start until September 8th, so we had a looong four months of full-time parenting.  It's great that he had the summer off and I love spending time with him, but he is demanding and requires a lot of different activities every day.  Fortunately he loves exploring the woods and with the weather in our favor, we were able to do lots of walking, swimming and playing at the playgrounds.

The beginnings of spring weather - April 20

Flower picking - May 26

Hot pool days in June!

July blueberry picking

August gorgeousness

We really took advantage of the entire season this year - as soon as it was marginally sunny and nice out, we were out and about.  Considering there was still snow on the ground in April, we really launched into spring and summer quickly and luckily the good times have lasted!

Three cheers to Stockholm's Endless Summer - may the beautiful weather last as long as possible!

Calvin and Daddy's Excellent Adventure

The child’s screams echoed throughout the airplane.  Passengers were giving each other looks that said “ wow, that parent can’t control their kid – what are they doing taking a toddler on a trans-atlantic airplane flight??”.  Flight attendants tried unsuccessfully to bribe the child with crayons and coloring books.  There was nothing they could do…

At the same time, I looked at Calvin, happily watching Ice Age on the in-seat screen and thought again of how lucky I had been so far and how good of a boy he had been.  I also reminded myself of the 4 as-yet-unseen matchbox cars I had hidden in my bag just in case I ended up in the same predicament.

And so began our 2 week trip to ‘merica!

Five things nobody will tell you - pregnancy the second time around

In the third trimester, it is often easy to complain about the physical aches and pains of pregnancy, but that's what everyone goes through.  I'm here to tell you about all of the things that people either DON'T tell you about pregnancy after you've already had a kid, (because they think you're a pro and you've been through it before) OR because you honestly don't hear what they say as you're too busy chasing after your toddler to let anything informative sink in.

I'm pretty sure when I was pregnant with Calvin, my manager at work said to me, "Enjoy putting your feet up at the end of each work day during this pregnancy, because it's the last pregnancy you will ever 'enjoy.'"  She had a point and was only hinting at some of the fun surprises I'd discover the second time around.


All that fatigue, nausea, and food aversion you experience in the first trimester, yeah those still happen only now you have a guaranteed 6am wake up call... your oldest child

It's true, I can admit it - I had it so easy with Calvin that I barely knew I was pregnant during the entire first trimester.  Go ahead and hate on me, I can take it.  It was easy the first time around but this second pregnancy I got walloped with 3 weeks of nausea followed by 3 months of food aversions.  The nausea was the worst (always is, right?) and there is nothing worse than bending over to pick up 33 toy cars off the floor and truly believing you are going to throw up at any moment.  Not only do you have to chase around your toddler while feeling completely gross, tired and sick, but then your favorite foods (like coffee) are completely ruined.  I couldn't drink coffee anymore - it tasted like soy sauce. Seriously?  I never experienced food aversions before -- it's no fun having all of your favorite foods immediately seem repulsive.

Your first child will step, jump, pounce and attack your belly

It's a good thing there is extra cushioning already built in (or building) to protect this baby because Calvin frequently decides it's fun to jump on me, like old times.  I was reassured by my midwife that the little one is completely safe inside, but it still freaks you out a bit when it happens.  I had to teach Calvin to be careful and to respect my new "state" and not deliberately climb on me.

The first-born still wants to be held, carried and cuddled

This one depends on the age span between pregnancies, but in general, if you have your kids close together in age, this will hold up.

When this new baby is born, Calvin and his sister will be 2.5 years apart.  That's a pretty healthy age span and means that Calvin is fairly independent and can do things on his own... for the most part.  Thankfully, he listens to instructions, but he still requires periodic carrying and demands lots of snuggling. After consistently refusing to ride in his stroller, I decided that a shoulder carry was my best non-stroller option as my belly was preventing my usual hip-carry hold.  I can't tell you the number of looks I received from strangers as they watched me trudge up the steep hill to my house with a 2 year old on my shoulders and my very pregnant belly sticking out.  

Second/third trimester kicks, rolls and jabs are now painful

I remember feeling Calvin's kicks and hiccups with fond memories.  "Oh, isn't that sweet? S/he is moving around again."  This time around, it is downright painful and uncomfortable 99% of the time.  "OH MY GOD! Is this a human being or a wild beast inside my belly?!?! Owwww! Get out from under my ribs!"   I'm not sure why or how, but this has been verified by other seasoned moms -- those lovely little kicks and punches you experienced with baby #1 are 5x more painful in subsequent pregnancies.

You care much much less

I mean this in the nicest way possible but it still has to be said.  Maybe this isn't something that nobody will tell you, but it is something that still caught be my surprise.  I'm not even really paying attention to this pregnancy.  I mean, I am -- I'm still taking weekly belly pictures -- but that's about it.  Thankfully my pregnancy app reminds me of each milestone because I'm too busy chasing Calvin, working or cleaning the house to think much about how large my baby's legs are or what her lungs are doing at the moment.  With pregnancy #1, I was enthralled in every detail. I read all of the books and watched informative documentaries.  The silver lining to already "neglecting" my second born in-utero, is that I'm much less stressed out. I'm not thinking about all of the things that could go wrong so I'm enjoying this in a different way.

...all that I've said above, I still have it pretty easy.  I'm very lucky that even though this pregnancy isn't as smooth sailing as my first, I don't have any major complications or issues.  Calvin is super independent and happy to play on his own, as long as I am watching ("Momma come! Come here Momma!'.  He has adjusted to me not carrying him as much as I used to (because I simply cannot do it) and he is getting excited to meet his baby sister.

I'm sure there will be many things that I will learn once the baby is born that nobody could prepare me for.  I am looking forward to see how our family dynamics change with the introduction of a new personality.  More fun times ahead!