Physical and emotional closure

Ten days ago, we sold our house in Atlanta. Maintaining the house for the past 3.5 years was an expensive and logistical headache. Coordinating home repairs and finding renters while living abroad was a constant burden. Fortunately for us, our current tenants enjoyed the house so much that they emailed us an offer to buy it. Unfortunately for us, negotiating all of the closing processes while living abroad was more challenging than usual. 

To coordinate a timely closing, the US lawyers emailed us the legal documents to print on our side, sign, notarize and ship back. Easy, right? WRONG.

For one thing, US Legal paper, the size of paper required for printing out all of those affidavits and seller's documents, was not available in Sweden. A frantic search of local office supply stores resulted in the realization that I was going to have to be creative. 

Resourcefully, I spied my children's drawing pad of paper - it looked long enough but would it do the trick? I'm not one for DIY but after much measuring and cutting, I finally had 28 sheets of US Legal paper ready for the printer. Since it was much thicker than normal printer paper - as it was intended to absorb markers and crayons, not printer ink - I had to individually feed it each one into the printer, reset the printer settings and hit print - 28 different times. This was extremely time consuming to say the least!

Then came the little issue of finding a notary to witness and notarize our signatures. All of Sweden was on vacation when we did our preliminary search. Luckily for us, the only notary (publicus notarius, FYI) in our county opened the day before we had to ship them back to the US in time for the closing. We have only one day to pull this off. STRESS. Five hundred kronor and an hour later and we were out the door - taking a one and a half hour train ride into the city to FedEx the documents back to the US.

There was a mixup with the FedEx shipping label as Sweden couldn't figure out who to bill. The shipping label was for US shipping but it was coming from Sweden. FedEx did a few head scratches while figuring out their billing procedures so our lovely notarized documents sat in the mailroom for an extra day. Now we are in even more of a TIME CRUNCH than before and everything is out of our control. CUE MORE STRESS.

We tracked the documents and they arrived in Atlanta at 10am local time and the closing occurred at 1pm that day. Being so far out of the picture, nobody remembered to tell us if we had actually sold the house or not. There is always the off-chance that things go wrong at a closing. Jon reached out to the buyers the following day and they informed us that yes, the closing went well and they now owned our house. Done and Done.

All of the stressful parts of selling a house were made that much more cumbersome simply by living abroad. Every aspect of this process required at least two hours of online research and then the calling of various offices to understand the process. We were constantly thinking, "How can we make a Swedish solution fit our American problem?" Apparently the only solution might involve staying up for hours, measuring and trimming 28 sheets of drawing paper both lengthwise and widthwise and trying not to tear your hair out in the process.

In addition to the logistical challenges, I also felt strong emotions about selling our house. We have nothing physically tying us back "home." We have no items in storage - the management company threw away my wedding dress and photo albums so no need to take care of that anymore. Phew. Thanks guys. And now we don't have a house. I know we are saving money and stress and everyone is excited about that but it also means that our Atlanta chapter is closed closed.

Our house was symbolic to me of our old lives. It was our first house, the location of our marriage proposal and where we spent the first nine months of our son's life. While I keep those very happy memories with me, the sale of the house closed off that chapter for us permanently. The cliche loved/hated by expats, "You can't go home again" isn't just for a physical place, it is also for an emotional state of being. For the first time in 3.5 years, I really feel like we are permanently abroad. And as much as I love living abroad, I also loved our lives in the US. It was definitely with a bit of a heavy heart that I mailed those closing documents. 

Part of my sadness stems from the lack of a "proper goodbye." I don't know what one is, but for me, I don't felt like I had one. I didn't have enough farewell dinners or get togethers with friends - there just wasn't enough time. Are there ever "enough" farewell dinners anyway? 

You never know when your time will be the "one last" and you never know who it will be with. During the five weeks we had to prepare for our move to Sweden, we were in such a rush to pack up our lives that I never got to enjoy those "one lasts" in our neighborhood. That one last coffee at our favorite corner cafe. That one last dinner at our favorite restaurant. That one last walk through the park in the springtime. In reality, I did have those "one last" moments except I didn't know it at that time.

Moving abroad has made me find creative solutions to problems I didn't know ever existed - like creating US Legal sized paper in a foreign country - and it has made me appreciate the "one lasts" I will never have again. Sometimes we don't get the emotional closure we are looking for.

Like most things in life, this was bittersweet. A little bit of sadness and a little bit of joy as we let go of the things we no longer own. I'm still making my peace with this and that's OK.

Catching up - the Reader's Digest version

So... lately we have been missing in action because a lot of things started to happen at the same time.  We came out of our Roman holiday a little weary and took a break from updating everyone on all of the things we have going on.  The lack of updates doesn't mean that we aren't busy but just that I'm way too lazy to post a separate blog about everything individually, so here is a quick recap:

• Veganism - we took a break from being strict vegans while in Rome and when we came back, decided to drop the veganism and become vegetarians.  Some blood work came back for me that indicated I was ridiculously anemic and in need of serious iron replacements STAT.  Rather than face iron infusions or other scary things, we decided to bring back dairy and eggs into our diets.  I even consented to chicken/salmon once a week until my iron levels get back up to normal.  It wasn't good for a while - nearly passing out while sitting down really scared me and I know that I can't take care of Calvin if I'm horizontal.  The vegan lifestyle is fantastic but my already anemic body needs heme-iron every now and then.  I have to be flexible enough to do what's best for my health.  I'm currently on 200 mg of iron supplements a day... possibly for all eternity.

• We are moving -  No, no, not back to the US, but we heard from our landlords that they are returning to Sweden in August and would like their house back.  That means that I've been scouring the very very few websites Stockholm has to offer.  Trying to find a house in our price range that accepts dogs and isn't a 3 hour commute for Jon is really tough and time consuming.  We are viewing a house on Saturday so fingers crossed that we can snag it AND live with it.  Calvin will be changing schools and needing to say goodbye to friends - so sad. I'm losing the small network of awesome neighbors that I've built in a short time, so I'm super sad about that too.  I'm trying to look at it as another opportunity to experience life in Stockholm from another perspective, but sometimes we get lazy with our perspectives and just want things to be the same for a little bit.

• Work, work work -  Work has been busy for both me and Jon.  I've seen an uptick in my hours lately and "maxed" out last week.  Jon has been getting home late (9-10pm) most nights now as his leadership is shifting and there are new priorities/deliverables that must be done.  We've been keeping busy and eating late dinners.

• Upcoming travel - Jon and Calvin will be heading to the US for 2 weeks in August for a wedding, so catch them while you can if you are in the northeast.  We will all be traveling, as a family, back to the US for 2 weeks in November for Thanksgiving.  It'll be nearly 2 years since I've seen my family and I've been missing everyone like crazy!  I'm ready for some family reunion time.

• Calvin! -  I'll just post a video to update you on how Calvin is doing.  He is hilarious (daily) and his vocabulary is picking up speed.  Last week he said, "Momma, Daddy behind you!"  Fortunately I already knew Jon was behind me or it might've freaked me out.  To hear a positional/directional word from him was really good. We are moving out of the "cars cars cars" vocabulary and into some higher level concepts.  Our only current issue is that he is TERRIFIED of bath time now.  I have no idea what happened but he refuses to take a bath. He runs screaming out of the bathroom absolutely terrified and we have resorted to washing him down with warm, soapy washcloths.  His feet have been neglected a bit, so I tried putting those in the sink to wash them and he freaked out at that little action.  It might be a while before we rehabilitate him to the tub...

• Weather - It's still winter here with snow on the ground and frequently falling from the sky.  When will it ever change? Will we have the shortest summer ever? Probably...

• Bessie - she is still barking at rabbits, squirrels and children, sleeping in the sun and licking her butt at inappropriate times (is there ever an appropriate time?).  Not much of an update there.

Well, that's the update here. What is going on in your neck of the woods?

A Mushroom Apprenticeship

Backyard mushrooms 

This summer and fall seasons have been pretty rainy but rather than get all depressed about how soggy the ground is, Swedes have been leveraging the unusually high rainfall to yield some delicious meals.  I'm talking about mushrooms and I'm talking specifically about chanterelle mushrooms.  Sweden has a law that actually allows people to roam the land and pick mushrooms, blueberries, raspberries, camping, hiking, skiing, or pretty much whatever you want as long as it's legal   It's the Right to Public Access and it gives you the right to roam and wander and sit on a rock in the countryside if you want.  It's not considered trespassing within certain limits. For instance, you can't camp out in someone's front yard right in front of their house.  However, if someone lives on an island, you can camp on their island as long as they can't see you from their house (I believe that is the rule).

This quote is from the website http://www.naturvardsverket.se which has an English page so even non-Swedes can enjoy this unique privilege.

Swedes tend to regard the Right of Public Access as part of their cultural heritage, sometimes even as a national symbol. Its origins go back in part to provincial laws and customs dating from the Middle Ages.

The Right of Public Access is for everybody. (The literal meaning of the Swedish term, allemansrätten, is ‘everyman’s right’.) As the basis of our right to roam the countryside, it is important not just to individuals but also to clubs and tourism operators. Clubs and tourism operators may take advantage of the Right of Public Access in the activities they organise, even though the right as such applies only to individuals and not to groups.

Pretty cool right?  Well, this right covers mushroom picking and believe me, there are a lot of mushrooms to pick.  However, Jon and I are not seasoned mushroom pickers and the chances of us picking something poisonous has been too high to risk.  We've been mushroom-less haps and have been feeling extremely inadequate since we have seen our neighbors coming back from the forest with BAGS and BAGS of delicious mushrooms.

Surprisingly, the internet was not much help and it was filled with too many caveats to trust their advice. We needed a real Swede to show us how to do this.  The biggest problem is that no Swede will share their secrets.  Something I learned early on was to never ask a Swede where they found those mushrooms.  They won't tell you.  Without being in the fold, we were lost.  Jon told me, "We need to have someone take us out. We'll give them ALL the mushrooms, we just need to know what to look for."  Enter our graciously nice neighbor, Lena, who not only offered to take us mushroom picking but also gave us her own bag to start off.  Beyond nice!! We finally had our own mushroom apprenticeship!

Lena, wisely, taught us only to pick chanterelles.  She also advised us to stay away from the "pretty mushrooms."  Those are always toxic.  

Too pretty to eat = toxic!

She took us all out on the hunt and told us that chanterelles could be found everywhere.  Well, that is helpful but it means you have to cover a lot of ground.  Mushroom picking is also about changing your perspective.  They are very difficult to see from standing position, so you have to squat down and scan the ground like a horizon.  Then, all of a sudden, you see tons of mushrooms.  Now to pick the right ones.

Chanterelles, at this point in the season, are brown in color and have two distinct features (that I rely heavily on).  They have a hole in the middle and a hollow stem.  There are many "impostor" mushrooms that are quite dangerous to eat, so you have to double check.  I was squishing the stem of every chanterelle I picked to make sure it was hollow.  The other mushrooms don't have that tell-tale hollowness, which meant, look but don't eat.

We had actually found quite a number of mushrooms.  It was a good harvest and we lucked out with some patches that hadn't been picked over yet.  The beauty of mushrooms is that they grow so quickly, so you can come back in a week and find new ones to enjoy!

We also learned how to properly prepare fresh mushrooms.  The ones you get in the store are pretty dry by the time they get into your kitchen, but these were straight from the forest.  Before you add butter, you have to add them to a hot pan and remove all of the water.  The water bubbles out of them and they kind of "dance" in the pan.  It was very exciting and the smell of cooking mushrooms is always super delicious.  Then, I added a generous scoop of butter, salt and pepper and cooked them in batches so that they didn't overlap on top of one another.  We put them on buttered toasted bread and enjoyed some chanterelle sandwiches.  DELICIOUS!  We can't wait to go mushroom scouting this weekend!

On the hunt!

Distracted by the blueberries 

Our harvest of chanterelle mushrooms

Add heat to remove all water

Now ready for some butter, salt and pepper

Can you see the butter? Yum!

Ready to eat!

Open face sandwich -- Swedish style

Gone in 25 seconds!

Mushrooms are everywhere!

Fantasy Fotbol

I’m not stranger to fantasy sports – I’ve probably been in at least one league a year since 2000 or so, and have had teams for football (obviously), baseball, basketball and I think even hockey one year.  (Let’s not bring up the F1 league run by the Dwyer’s – I’m an embarrassment for 5 years running)

But earlier this week I had a new “first”.  I was walking into the building in the morning with my Italian buddy and he asked I was interested in a Champions League Fantasy Team.  I said yes before we even finished the sentence, but he kept trying to explain

International Delight -- Part II

FLASHBACK!  Me, Kyle and Samantha circa July 2007

July 2012 -- 5 years later and slightly less reckless

Our very first visitor to our apartment in Stockholm, was my best friend, Samantha.  She braved schizophrenic weather changes (sun to hail to rain to snow to sun in less than 3 hours) and we wrote all about her first visit here.  The timing of her second visit meant that she was also our first visitor to our new house in the "country."  Unlike her last trip

Medieval times

When our friends from CA came to visit us, Eric and Erica, we were excited for some super fun medieval/viking fun.  Eric has been watching Game of Thrones on HBO and was super pumped to see some of the landscape in person.  Having never seen Game of Thrones, we were just excited to show Stockholm and some of the neighboring areas to our friends.

Eric and Erica are professional travelers and