Five things nobody will tell you - pregnancy the second time around

In the third trimester, it is often easy to complain about the physical aches and pains of pregnancy, but that's what everyone goes through.  I'm here to tell you about all of the things that people either DON'T tell you about pregnancy after you've already had a kid, (because they think you're a pro and you've been through it before) OR because you honestly don't hear what they say as you're too busy chasing after your toddler to let anything informative sink in.

I'm pretty sure when I was pregnant with Calvin, my manager at work said to me, "Enjoy putting your feet up at the end of each work day during this pregnancy, because it's the last pregnancy you will ever 'enjoy.'"  She had a point and was only hinting at some of the fun surprises I'd discover the second time around.


All that fatigue, nausea, and food aversion you experience in the first trimester, yeah those still happen only now you have a guaranteed 6am wake up call... your oldest child

It's true, I can admit it - I had it so easy with Calvin that I barely knew I was pregnant during the entire first trimester.  Go ahead and hate on me, I can take it.  It was easy the first time around but this second pregnancy I got walloped with 3 weeks of nausea followed by 3 months of food aversions.  The nausea was the worst (always is, right?) and there is nothing worse than bending over to pick up 33 toy cars off the floor and truly believing you are going to throw up at any moment.  Not only do you have to chase around your toddler while feeling completely gross, tired and sick, but then your favorite foods (like coffee) are completely ruined.  I couldn't drink coffee anymore - it tasted like soy sauce. Seriously?  I never experienced food aversions before -- it's no fun having all of your favorite foods immediately seem repulsive.

Your first child will step, jump, pounce and attack your belly

It's a good thing there is extra cushioning already built in (or building) to protect this baby because Calvin frequently decides it's fun to jump on me, like old times.  I was reassured by my midwife that the little one is completely safe inside, but it still freaks you out a bit when it happens.  I had to teach Calvin to be careful and to respect my new "state" and not deliberately climb on me.

The first-born still wants to be held, carried and cuddled

This one depends on the age span between pregnancies, but in general, if you have your kids close together in age, this will hold up.

When this new baby is born, Calvin and his sister will be 2.5 years apart.  That's a pretty healthy age span and means that Calvin is fairly independent and can do things on his own... for the most part.  Thankfully, he listens to instructions, but he still requires periodic carrying and demands lots of snuggling. After consistently refusing to ride in his stroller, I decided that a shoulder carry was my best non-stroller option as my belly was preventing my usual hip-carry hold.  I can't tell you the number of looks I received from strangers as they watched me trudge up the steep hill to my house with a 2 year old on my shoulders and my very pregnant belly sticking out.  

Second/third trimester kicks, rolls and jabs are now painful

I remember feeling Calvin's kicks and hiccups with fond memories.  "Oh, isn't that sweet? S/he is moving around again."  This time around, it is downright painful and uncomfortable 99% of the time.  "OH MY GOD! Is this a human being or a wild beast inside my belly?!?! Owwww! Get out from under my ribs!"   I'm not sure why or how, but this has been verified by other seasoned moms -- those lovely little kicks and punches you experienced with baby #1 are 5x more painful in subsequent pregnancies.

You care much much less

I mean this in the nicest way possible but it still has to be said.  Maybe this isn't something that nobody will tell you, but it is something that still caught be my surprise.  I'm not even really paying attention to this pregnancy.  I mean, I am -- I'm still taking weekly belly pictures -- but that's about it.  Thankfully my pregnancy app reminds me of each milestone because I'm too busy chasing Calvin, working or cleaning the house to think much about how large my baby's legs are or what her lungs are doing at the moment.  With pregnancy #1, I was enthralled in every detail. I read all of the books and watched informative documentaries.  The silver lining to already "neglecting" my second born in-utero, is that I'm much less stressed out. I'm not thinking about all of the things that could go wrong so I'm enjoying this in a different way.

...all that I've said above, I still have it pretty easy.  I'm very lucky that even though this pregnancy isn't as smooth sailing as my first, I don't have any major complications or issues.  Calvin is super independent and happy to play on his own, as long as I am watching ("Momma come! Come here Momma!'.  He has adjusted to me not carrying him as much as I used to (because I simply cannot do it) and he is getting excited to meet his baby sister.

I'm sure there will be many things that I will learn once the baby is born that nobody could prepare me for.  I am looking forward to see how our family dynamics change with the introduction of a new personality.  More fun times ahead!

The Liebster Award

Our blog has been nominated for the Liebster Award by Anna, who writes a super cute blog about being a parent and all of the wonderful things associated with new babies, The Baby Bump Diaries.  Thank you Anna for passing along this award in an effort to help people discover new blogs.

The Liebster Award is given to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. So, what is a Liebster?  The meaning: Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome. Isn't that sweet? Blogging is about building a community and it's a great way to connect with other bloggers and help spread the word about newer bloggers/blogs.

Here are the rules for receiving the award:

1. Answer the 11 Liebster questions given to you by the nominee before you
2. Link back to the person who nominated you
3. Pick up to 11 bloggers with under 200 followers to nominate
4. Come up with 11 questions for your nominees to answer
5. Notify the nominees

Since Jon occasionally writes for this blog too so you get 2 answers for each question. Aren't y'all lucky?  I didn't let Jon see my answers to these questions so his answers aren't influenced AT ALL by mine.

Questions:

1. What has your favorite motherhood/fatherhood moment been (thus far)?
Lisa: Oh there are so many moments it is impossible to have just one favorite.  I will say that one of my

Gotland - the adventure continues

Visby, the City of Roses...and sheep

We have been to Gotland before, mostly Visby, with the Missildines last summer. It was one of the few places in the world where Jon and I both said, "We definitely want to come back here. It is just too beautiful to see only once."  So when the opportunity arose for Samantha and I to take a mini-vacation within her vacation, I suggested Gotland and she jumped at the chance.

Gotland is an island in the Baltic off of the eastern coast of Sweden and it takes about 3 hours by high speed ferry to get there.  You can book almost everything on the website destinationgotland.se and your whole trip will be covered -- transfers, ferry rides, rental car, hotel, etc.  If you are already in the Arlanda area, it might make sense to just book a flight directly.  Flights are about 40 mins long and start around $300 versus a 3 hour ferry ride around $150 including bus transfer.  Either way, it is a very nice vacation destination from Stockholm.

Gotland is rich in history and is considered to be the homeland of the Goths.  We rented a car and drove all around the island - checking out the various coasts and small towns from north to south.  We discovered the amazingly foreign looking chalk formations in Fårö and saw numerous windmill farms, stone ships, and lots of horses, sheep and cows.  Some towns are more industrial in nature and could/should be avoided (yes, I'm looking at you, Slite) if cement factories are not your idea of an ideal vacation destination.  However, for the most part, many of the small towns on Gotland had little roads to explore and beautiful sites to discover - all perfect for picnicking.

It is amazing to stand in front of a stone ship and realize that those stones were placed there by the vikings' ancestors 2,000-4,000 years ago. I mean, what else have you seen (or touched) that dates back to the Bronze Age?   There are over 350 stone ships on Gotland and we stumbled across 5 of them without really trying.  Not much is known about stone ships - other than they may be burial sites to equip the dead with everything they'll need on their journey to the underworld, but their actual function remains unconfirmed by archeologists.  It is still fun to stand there and ponder the reasons why these stones were placed there and to just marvel that they have lasted for so long in their original configurations.



Our day in Fårö was one of pure exploration.  We drove down this tiny gravel road along the Langhammar nature reserve and just stopped at every location that featured rauks or chalk formations (by erosion).  We stopped frequently to take pictures of these Ice Age stone monoliths.  The resulting landscape was strangely foreign and unique.  Bessie played the part of an adventurous mountain goat and loved running up and down these tiny cliffs.  The water was shallow in this area and was perfect for wading.

Ferry to Faro

Looks kind of like a face, right?

Bessie loved it!

 

We didn't spend much time in Visby - mostly because we were out and about exploring the entire island, but I did manage to take Sam "beyond the wall" and show her the beautiful entrance gate with reconstructed portcullis.

Personally, I always feel like a princess when walking around Visby and I let my imagination take over as I explore the medieval walled city.  It's not a UNESCO World Heritage Site for no reason - the place is beautiful and is well preserved. Afterwards, Sam did admit to feeling a bit like a character from Game of Thrones.  We both agreed that it would be the perfect place for a Renaissance Fair.  After doing some googling, it turns out that Visby DOES host a medieval week - or fair like no other August 4-11. We just missed it by a week! Who knew?? Maybe next time...

Both of my trips to Gotland were during the low season with very little tourists and I must say, I highly enjoyed having the entire city of Visby and island of Gotland to myself.  We bypassed the ferry lane that had Disney-line-like signs of, "The drive from this point to the ferry is 1.5 hours" since there were no other cars on the road.  We were spoiled and frequently stopped at beaches that were completely deserted.  We could let Bessie run free and explore as we wanted.

By far it was the most relaxing vacation I have had in a long time. We had no scheduled time or agenda for the entire 3.5 days there. I love Calvin to pieces but to be able to go back to sleep if I wanted was the most luxurious freedom ever.  Sam and I were able to completely unplug from our phones and computers and just focus on sitting on the beach and watching the waves.  I wouldn't trade one minute of it for anything and neither of us wanted to leave when it was time to head back on the ferry.

We were fortunate to have gorgeous weather (72F, sunny and breezy) and eek out some more true summer days at the end of the season.  Visby literally pulls in the flags and shuts down the last week in August and they made it clear the main tourist season was over. You can never replicate an experience twice in a row, but so far we have been 2 for 2 for unforgettable experiences in Gotland.  In my book, those odds are tough to beat.

Just call me the new cleaning lady

Busted lady!

You know when you get caught speeding how you have that moment of utter and sheer panic?  You know that you should've slowed down, driven more carefully and been a better driver overall. You sit there on the side of the road just wishing and praying against all odds that he'll let you off with just a warning.  Just this time, Officer, really, I didn't mean it.  "I promise. I'll be better next time."  And for a while, you actually do drive more safely.  That is...until you forget that speeding ticket and its associated humiliation (and cost) and you decide that it's not that big of a deal, really.

Well for me, that speeding ticket is the equivalent to cleaning my house.  When we moved a few weeks ago, I decided to take on the task of, essentially detailing, our 1500 square foot house.  I thought, "It'll be easy!  All of the furniture is out of the way and Jon will take Bessie and Calvin to the new house."  Nope.  As it turns out, the Cleaning Police pulled me over and whacked me a huge ticket.  "Gotta do your time Missy. This place is a wreck!"

Admittedly, Jon and I aren't the cleanest people on the planet. I would always joke that I was doing my part to ensure Calvin didn't develop allergies from living in a sterile environment.  When we moved into the house, it was gorgeous. Not a dog hair in sight (they owned a dog as well), and everything was sparkly-like new.  In order for us to get our deposit back, and one can say I am extremely motivated by money, I had to leave things as they had left it with some minor wear and tear allowable.

Time to pay the piper.  For all of the times I ignored the slightly overflowing floor drain in the shower -- now it was time to clean it out.  I cursed myself for my long hairstyle as I proceeded to yank out soap scummed long hair from the drain.  It was gross.  Grosser than you could imagine.  And it smelled too.  Double gross.   I was on my hands and knees, scrubbing until my knuckles went raw, on an actually hot day in Sweden (what are the odds??), AND 7 months pregnant.  Not my favorite moment and not one I want to repeat anytime soon.

About 4 hours into the deep cleaning session, I seriously contemplated calling a cleaning service and paying them to do it all.  All of a sudden $250 was sounding pretty cheap compared to what I was doing.

Fortunately, I had already cleaned out the oven, refrigerator and kitchen cabinets -- everywhere stubborn stains and stuck on grease like to hang out.  Unfortunately, I still had the rest of the house to complete, floors to mop, and gross shower drains to empty.  What was I thinking?  Oh, that's right. I was trying to keep our moving expenses as small as possible.  I scrubbed that house inside and out from 7:30am-4pm, non-stop.  I also didn't have any lunch because we had removed all of the food for the move.  My hunger, back ache and raw hands from the various cleaning products was my motivation to finish the job already.

Now that we are at the new house, I definitely have the mindset of the I-just-received-a-speeding-ticket-so-I'll-drive-like-a-saint-for-FOREVER.  I'm vacuuming regularly, cleaning the bathroom once a week and trying to keep the kitchen as neat and tidy as possible at all times. Nothing on the counters, Jonathan! 

We'll see how long this lasts. I predict I'll be back up to the equivalent of 10mph above the speed limit -- leaving dishes in the sink over night, not taking out the trash regularly -- that kind of thing.  But for now - my house is CLEAN!

How to fly across the world with a 2+ year old by yourself

Jon and Calvin left for the US yesterday for a little family reunion and more importantly, a beautiful wedding in Maine featuring two wonderful people.  I'm really too pregnant to fly (8 months) - Icelandair won't allow pregnant women to fly in the last month of their pregnancy without a doctor's explicit clearance of health.  My midwife wasn't crazy about the idea and the risks of me delivering in the US without health insurance with a premature baby seemed too much.   Sadly, the boys have to go on this trip alone...

Regardless, in preparing for the long trip for Calvin (2+ years old) (and Jon as his only caretaker along the way), we developed a fairly solid game plan.  I've outlined our plan for the 15 hour trip in case anyone is traveling with a toddler in the future.  The red text is what actually happened.

The plan:

• 11:30am-12:15pm -- Calvin would (hopefully) nap in the taxi ride to the airport (40 mins) -- SUCCESS!
• 12:15pm - 2:30pm -- Arlanda Airport Terminal 5 has a children's play space, Junibacken, that could serve as a good place for Calvin to work out some energy for the 2 hours before their flight departed -- SUCCESS!
• 2:30pm - 5:30pm - first flight -- Calvin would stay awake on the flight to Reykjavik and play with his toys, books and possibly watch the kid movie, Ice Age III -- SUCCESS!
• 5:30pm - 7:00pm - layover - Calvin would play with his toys or explore the Reykjavik airport a bit  -- SUCCESS!  Warning, Reykjavik airport does not have a good food selection (see snacks suggestion below)
• 7:00pm - 12:00am (Stockholm time) - Calvin would SLEEP on the flight from Reykjavik to Boston.  This was by far the trickiest part because it is Calvin's bedtime but we worried that he wouldn't be able to sleep well on the flight and would be over tired by the time they landed -- PARTIAL SUCCESS - he slept 3/5 hours, so not too bad
• Calvin and Jon would meet up with Joann and Dave at the airport around 6:30pm ET, which would feel like midnight for the guys.  With any luck, Calvin would have some fun with his grandparents for a few hours and crash out late at night and "re-set" his internal clock and wake up a little later than normally. -- Calvin fell asleep between Boston and Rhode Island and woke up in a good mood. He buzzed around from 7pm-9pm ET and slept until 4am ET.  

He was a happy guy on a 7-hour block of time, so now the trick is to try to maintain a new schedule of napping and bed time.  Good luck with that everyone!

Also for the plane...

• Pack in a small backpack that is easily accessible:
• a variety of new and old toys and books -- Jon brought out the new cars when the seatbelt sign lit up just before landing on each flight
• bring a cozy blanket for the plane
• grab or bring a small pillow for extra coziness
• pacifiers (if your toddler still uses one)
• kid headphones -- Calvin didn't really need them as he was happy to watch the movies sound-free but always good to bring
• Additional non-electronic toys -- PlayDoh, find-and-seek books, cars, memory cards (with Cars on them, of course), lots and lots of stickers, washable markers, coloring book
• snacks!
• Jon said that the toughest times were when the fasten seatbelt sign lit up and Calvin had to sit in one place during takeoff and landing without any movies or electronic distractions
• It was helpful that the main travel times fell around his usual nap time and bed time.  Even still, Calvin only slept a fraction of what he normally does.  He managed to survive through long lines at customs and baggage claim but it was fairly rough.

Jon was pretty nervous to go on such a long set of flights on his own but Calvin is an easy kid. He is really flexible and was able to sleep well and watch movies quietly.  I also had every confidence in Jon that he can easily handle Calvin completely.  He took care of Calvin solo for 2 weeks total while I was in Cote d'Ivoire and Geneva for work, so he knows what to do.  Jon did ask me what would happen if he had to go to the bathroom.  To which I replied, "Either take Calvin before he falls asleep or hold it. You have 2 options."

We also spent about 2 weeks talking with Calvin about the details of the trip. I told him explicitly that he would be flying on a big plane and he could wear his headphones and watch movies and play cars on the flight.  We talked about all of the family members he would see and we spent a lot of time looking at pictures to familiarize him with everyone again.  I kept emphasizing how much fun it would be for him and all of the fun things he was going do and see to try to make it as positive as possible.

He hasn't seen most of our family since Christmas 2011, so it wouldn't be a surprise for him to be a bit anxious.  Calvin really understood the situation and he was excited about the plane but sad that I wasn't going with him.  He kept asking for cuddles for the past few days and would get really stressed out if I left the room without telling him.  He waved goodbye to me in the taxi and said, "Bye Momma" for a few minutes after they left.  It broke my heart to say goodbye but I know that he will have so much fun with everyone.  We plan to Skype regularly so I get to see them everyday.

             

So, what am I doing all day without my full time partner-in-crime, Calvin, and my teammate-in-life, Jon?  I'm getting some much needed work done without distractions - it is glorious.  I can schedule conference calls at any time of the day, not just after Calvin goes to bed or is napping.  It has opened up my entire day.  I'm also giving Bessie lots of snuggles because let's all face it, she will be a little neglected when the new baby arrives. It always happens in those first few months after a baby arrives.  She deserves some special attention too.

Samantha is coming to visit next week and we are headed to beautiful Gotland for some rest and relaxation.  We went to Visby, Gotland last year with the Missildines and it was one of the most beautiful places in the world.  Jon and I rarely ever want to return somewhere we have already traveled, but this was one of those special places.  We could walk the streets of Visby all day and still discover new little crooks and crannies that are just so special.  Sam and I are renting a car and will be exploring ALL of Gotland, so there is even more to discover.  I am so excited to not only return but to see more of the island.

We are coming for you Gotland!