Stockholm's Bus Strike - Summer 2013

We were sad to see our beloved ancient Lidingö tram close down for renovations last week, but the city promised a replacement bus line that would run more frequently with hopes of being even more efficient than the tram.

However...what we didn't count on, was a bus strike to occur at the same time as the tram closing for renovations.  That means there actually is NO replacement bus, because there are no buses running throughout the city.  Last Friday was a holiday and many people were off at their summer homes, so clearly no resolutions have been made over the weekend.

Jon woke up to check the www.sl.se website and found this nice message, which he copied/pasted to his manager.

Continued strike on bus services on MondayJune 23

No changes have occurred during midsummer.Municipal union strike by bus drivers continues. The buses will then also on Monday to be completely set on many routes in Stockholm, Solna, Sundbyberg, Sollentuna and Södertälje and replacement services on Lidingöbanan and Saltsjöbanan (Neglinge-Saltsjöbaden).

We do not know how long the strike will last. Follow developments in the media and here on sl.se.

Travel Guarantee does not apply to strike.

Many bus services suspended due to strike action. 

It'll be a work-from-home situation until the bus strike is resolved.  We simply cannot walk to the nearest T-bana station (it would take 2 hours) and consequently, cannot leave Lidingö for social meet ups, lunches, dinners and of course, work.  Not sure how this will affect Calvin's daycare as many of his teachers used the tram to get to work, but we could all be house-bound for a while. 

We certainly aren't the only ones affected by this strike. Hundreds of thousands of folks in Stockholm rely on public transportation as their only means of transportation. Figure it out folks and get those buses moving again!

Parental Leave in Sweden -- how it works

When we first moved to Sweden, we discovered that we qualified for government paid parental leave since Calvin had not yet turned 8 years old.  Jon took 6 weeks off and loved every minute of it.  You can read about the time he took here.

In comparison to US unpaid maternity leave (most dads never take any leave whatsoever), we view Sweden's policy as extremely generous.

Side note: only 3 countries in the world offer 12 weeks of unpaid leave

• United States
• Swaziland
• Lesotho

Swedes are very good at taking advantage of the system and some families can leverage the timing of the births of their children to take up to 3-5 consecutive years off from work, all paid.  

All of these numbers are going to get confusing and fortunately, Forsakringskassan.se provides you an easy calculator where you can put in your salary, time off and it'll automatically calculate all of the benefits for which you qualify.  All of this information, filling out forms to apply for parental leave is available here http://www.forsakringskassan.se/.

Breakdown of the Swedish parental leave

• 480 days to split between the two parents (no need to be married, just biological or adoptive parents)
• Dads get 10 days of "free" parental leave when the baby is born -- must be used within 60 days after baby arrives home from the hospital
• Equality bonus if you split the time down the middle of an extra tax-free $240/month
• The "minority" parent (generally the dads) must use at least 60 days before the child turns 8 years old
• Many Swedish companies "top up" base government pay up to 90% of your salary for x months (generally 6 months) if used before the child turns 1.5 years old
• You can choose to get paid 1 day/week, 2 days/week...7 days/week.
• You also get Barnbidrag - a child allowance of 1050 SEK/month ($164/month)

How to maximize your time off

• Since you are paid on a daily basis, holidays do not count towards your parental leave. They are holidays and those days add up...
• The less days you get paid each week, the longer you stretch out your time
• So, if you take 1 month of time and choose to get paid 3 days/week, this turns into 1 month  and 16 days of time off from work. Multiply that by 6 months of leave and you have effectively transformed your 6 months of leave into 9 months off of work! Well done!  You have to be good at budgeting your funds, but if you have a working partner, you can scrimp and save and enjoy that time off with your baby (now toddler).
• Take your time off when your employer "tops up" -- that means before your kid turns 18 months old. 
• Save some days and add them to your 33 days of vacation each year.  This is how many Swedes take 1-2 months off each year without batting an eye.

How all of this affects us

• I work on a contract for a US company so I qualify for absolutely no US maternity leave but I DO qualify for the base pay of Swedish parental leave.  I'll take that $15/day thank you very much!
• My US income goes straight to our US bank account to fund our mortgage, HOA fees, and student loans. My income is necessary and I can't go unpaid for too long.
• Fortunately I work from home, so it should still be a low-stress work environment for me. No need for a nanny or a commute to daycare this time around.
• Jon's company will top up for 6 months and I can donate all but 60 days of my time to him (I'll be the minority parent in this situation).  Since he has heavily taxed Swedish income, we will be getting the most bang for our buck by leveraging the government-paid leave (80% of his salary up to a maxed out cap) for 180 days.
• Kids in Sweden don't start daycare until they are 12-18 months old, so I really do need Jon on hand to take care of Baby #2.  I plan on taking off 3 months of unpaid leave but our US bank account can't float for too long. 

I may have missed some details and my Swedish friends can enlighten us further on how to best leverage this unique opportunity.  Jon is going to take as much time as possible because let's face it, when will we ever be in this position again?  If he didn't take time, that would be a disservice to our children.  What is better for our kids than to have both parents at home, on hand to dote, play and laugh with them?  Also, Jon gets to try out the open preschools and learn all of those Swedish nursery rhymes.  I'm excited for him to experience a bit of what I first went through with Calvin when we first moved here.

My only concern is that Jon will love his parental leave too much and convince me to keep expanding our family beyond our original plan of 2 kids. One at a time...one at a time.  But I can't blame him - who wouldn't want endless time with your baby?  

Calvin at 5 weeks

If you're not here, you're not anywhere

For my 30th birthday, my mom bought me the book, "The Happiness Project" and there was the quote in one of the chapters,

"If you're not here, you're not anywhere"

It was one of the author's daily reminders to herself to stay in the present moment.  There are so many times when I see parents out with their children but they are checking their cell phones and completely ignoring their kids.  One woman was so absentminded that she pushed the empty swing next to her while her daughter sat still in her own swing - for about 20 minutes.  Really? Really!? Come on now!  

I admit that I am also guilty of mentally checking out sometimes because let's face it, I just don't want to play in the puddles like Calvin does.  But those times when we "check out" from our kids or from anything we are doing, means that we aren't in the present moment and it's a waste of time.  And every time I really engage with what Calvin is doing, we all enjoy ourselves so much more.

Today, I was doing work and I started listening to a summertime country playlist on Spotify.  I instantly became homesick for the relaxed ways of the south.  The carefreeness of being able to hop in a pick up truck, head to the river and just be carefree on a lazy Sunday.  It's everything I want for my children -- that freedom and ability to let their minds and hearts wander without expectation and to LIVE for the hot summer time.  But I don't live in the south anymore and feeling sad about it means that I'm not appreciating where I DO live and everything it has to offer.  Different doesn't mean better or worse - it's just different.  And I was violating my "be present" rule -- I was wishing I was somewhere other than where I was.

Calvin and I spent a few hours in the sun playing in the outdoor pool down the road.  He ran through the grass, laughing and playing with this boats.  I'd say he was pretty carefree in that moment, but was I? Where was my head?  Why was I wasting these moments with my son when they are already so fleeting.  

It's human nature and it'll happen again, but the above saying will be my attempt to keep myself on track.  I'm going to put down my phone more and only check my emails once we are having "down time."  And I'll even try to enjoy the puddles like Calvin does.  

Looking for animals in the clouds

Will we get lucky a second time?

Calvin is remarkably easy.  He was an easy pregnancy, an easy newborn, and a super easy toddler.  We had no idea what we were in store for and it turns out that he is pretty wonderful 98% of the time. Case in point: today I asked him if he wanted lunch and he said, "no -- nap with binks."  As usual, I reiterated what he said to be sure we were on the same page, "You just want to take a nap with your binks?" To which he replied, "Yeah! Hurray!" and crawled backwards down the stairs, jumped into his crib and grabbed his pacifier.  That was it - nap time is the best time.  He asked and then celebrated when he got to take a nap.  Who does that?  You really can't ask for much more than that.

It's only when I hear about other mom's children's tantrums that I discover that Calvin's "tantrums" are really just minor disputes in our house. Nothing is ever broken or destroyed and the tears abate after a few minutes and a hug from Momma or Daddy.  We keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and for him to hit his "nightmare phase" but so far, we've been lucky.  (I'm currently knocking on wood and have my fingers and toes crossed because I REALLY don't want to jinx anything).

So...the real nail-biting question is whether we will hit the JACKPOT with our newest little angel or if we are in store for a whole bucket of crazy.  I'd like to think that we are more experienced parents this time around and that we can handle everything but Calvin didn't prepare us for everything, he only prepared us for his kind of calm, relaxed type of play. Not much help if we end up with a little hellion.

So here's to hoping that Calvin's relaxed approach to life is coded into our genes -- both Jon and I are pretty chill (right?) -- and that they combine again in such a way to result in the cutest, calmest little baby known to us.  If not, well, we'll roll with the punches and learn how to be parents all over again.  That's part of the fun, right?