A thought for today...

These are the few ways we can practice humility:

To speak as little as possible of one's self.

To mind one's own business.

Not to want to manage other people's affairs.

To avoid curiosity.

To accept contradictions and correction cheerfully.

To pass over the mistakes of others.

To accept insults and injuries.

To accept being slighted, forgotten and disliked.

To be kind and gentle even under provocation.

Never to stand on one's dignity.

To choose always the hardest.
― Mother Teresa, The Joy in Loving: A Guide to Daily Living

Passport Update: Covered bridges & cow bells

(Note, this should've been published in October 2012)

We were so excited for our family to visit us and even more excited to reunite in beautiful Switzerland. Jon, Calvin and I flew into Zurich a day early to see some of the city before meeting up with the Ferlands.  Zurich is all business and doesn't have much culture (that we could see), so we were waiting with anticipation for the Ferlands to arrive.  As always, we managed to have a good time and Calvin found this really big "ball" that was a water fountain.  His shirt was soaked through within a minute, so he went shirtless -- like a little Georgia boy should.

Naked (half) time!

We even found a fun playground and hung around a church.  Overall, Zurich was lacking a lot of "personality."  We were there for about 6 hours and felt like we had seen all we wanted to see.

Climbing the steps...Calvin makes it fun

We met up with the Ferlands at the train station, as well as Babci's cousin, Margarete.  She is a wild one!

Happy Swediversary!!!!

Can’t believe it’s been a whole year out here in Sverige.  The first 6 months or so were really crazy, with every day feeling like a brand new adventure.  For better or worse, the second half of the year seemed much more "normal".  Not sure exactly why, but probably because we are outside the city and are doing less exploring each weekend, more fun hikes and nature stuff.

While we’ve written a lot about our experiences in the past year, I wanted to highlight five of the “under the radar” things that we love about being out here (as well as five little things that we miss the most from the US)

Swedish Positives –

1)      Taxes are included in every posted price.  So when you go to the store and see a fantastic gift for your wife, you don’t need to worry about what the Swedish taxes will add on at the register (likely so that you never KNOW how much Swedish taxes are adding on at the register).  They have already priced this in, so something that has a sign for 100 SEK, can be handled very quickly by just handing the cashier a 100 SEK bill – no fear of needing to find 40 SEK in coins in your pockets or ending up with a ton of change.  Also, makes it a lot easier to budget when we go grocery shopping -- "minimize the surprise".

2)      People with babies ride free on buses.  Not as useful to us anymore now that we live in the forest, but when we were city folk, Lis was able to just jump on any bus she wanted when she had the stroller.  They did this for two reasons – one, because they love kids and families, and two, because logistically, a parent getting on the bus with a stroller will get into the middle of the bus.  The parent will obviously NOT want to leave their baby to pay up front, or even if they did, it would be against the stream of traffic.  So, just ride for free.  PERFECT

3)      Dogs can go everwhere.  Dogs are people too here in Sweden.  We see dogs strolling through malls, restaurants, buses and trains.  Not just small little “purse dogs” or anything, but actual “hunds”.  Doesn’t hurt that Calvin loves himself some doggies.

4)      Winter isn’t scary.  Growing up, winter was always something that was fun for 30 minutes sledding before heading in for hot chocolate (still awesome).  Then in college at Rochester, it was an excuse to stay in and waste some time.  Here though, its outdoor time 365 days a year.  As my coworker says, “there is no bad weather, just bad clothing”.  When we first showed up a year ago, we were shocked to see playgrounds PACKED on random February weekends.  Now, we don’t go to the playground, but we see 200+ people ice skating or dozens of people cross country skiing.  Its usually a very cold but SUNNY here in January, so that helps, but it actually makes us excited about going outdoors in the winter. We used to lock ourselves inside if it dropped below freezing in Atlanta.

5)      No eating at desks.  I just remembered the other day how shocking it was when I first arrived that no one ate at their desks.  I think that is how I had lunch for the 3+ years I did consulting – either bringing food or buying food and eating in front of my laptop.  That isn’t even ALLOWED here.  I thought it was crazy originally, but now I really like the ability to recharge by reading my kindle or going for a walk for an hour in the middle of the day.
6)   Parental leave.  We've talked about it in past articles, but I was able to take 6 weeks off as parental leave with Calvin.  How awesome is that?!?  Not only was I able to get some serious cuddle time in but we had a ton of time together as a family.  It was great to participate in Calvin's daily routine without feeling exhausted after a long work week.

7)  (BONUS POSITIVE) Vacation schedules.  Obviously, they are more generous with vacation time out here, but that isn't the biggest thing.  In the states, I think I had 18+ days of vacation time, but used MAYBE 5 a year.  Out here, people use their vacation time.  The primary reason they use it all is because the whole country decides to take vacation at the same time.  Basically NO ONE works for a week in February (they actually split up this Feb vacation by region - Stockholm, Gothenburg, Malmo, Other etc - to not over populate the ski resorts), then NO ONE works for all of July, then NO ONE works the two weeks of Christmas / New Years.  It makes it really stress free to go on vacation at that point - no huge list of emails to come back to, no worrying about who was going to handle your projects when you were gone and no organizational guilt about leaving.  Really, really relaxing.

And the downsides….

1)      Lack of sports culture.  I think when we arrived I knew that I wouldn’t have baseball/football/basketball  to talk about with folks, but I expected that I would just switch to focusing on hockey and/or soccer.  Instead, NONE of the Swedes I know care at all about either one (my southern European friends do love their fotbol though, I’ll give them that).  They’ll mention quickly if Zlatan (the best Swedish soccer player) had a big goal, or if the national team had a big win, but no one EVER talks about their professional domestic teams.  I really expected to get big into hockey, so this has been kind of a let down.  Soccer still is really boring though. 

2)      Buying booze is a HASSLE.  They have the state run liquor stores here, and honestly it’s not that bad.  Heavily taxed, but so is everything else.  They have a pretty decent range of options, and are really into boxed wines (cheap options that are easy to trek home without a car).  The worst part though is that all of their beers are sold as singles.  Yes – this does make it easier to mix and match, but its always a pain.  Rather than just grabbing a six pack for the weekend (who am I kidding?), I have to deal with random beers everywhere – that aren’t even refrigerated.  Now that I’m writing this, it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but trust me, it’s annoying.

3)      Steak/beef options are lacking.  Well, you can tell that I started this blog BEFORE Lis got on the vegan kick, but just for clarity, one of the arguments she used with me was “all the meat here sucks anyways, so we aren’t missing much”.  I had no counter argument.  Back in the A, we would get nice flat irons or sirloins and have those with a perfectly baked potato.  Now, we’ve had steak once in the past year – unless you want to spend $50/lb, you’re only going to be able to find a roast.  ALSO, Swedes love potatoes, but usually just to boil or mash.  We tried their “baking potatoes” once and couldn’t even finish them.  No threat to Idaho, don’t you worry.  (UPDATE – the news today said that the average swede eats over 170lbs of beef a year!!!!  That is 3^rd most in the world!!  So obviously, they are going to increase the taxes on beef.)

i miss you vortex 

Sweden's milk options are also confusing

4)      Public bathrooms aren’t free.  Again, this is just odd, and probably more of a mental thing than anything, but once you leave your house on a weekend morning, you can’t find a restroom unless you buy a coffee or pay 5 SEK ($.75) to get past a gate.  I hate carrying change, so that means I drink a lot of coffees when we go out – which accelerates the cycle a bit.  I can’t actually remember using public bathrooms in Atlanta that often, but now that I CANT do it, it stresses me out.
5)  Lack of good ole american holidays.  It's probably because they take the specific weeks off like I mentioned, but Swedes don't really take many holidays off (outside of Fri and Mon of Easter).  No Memorial Day, no 4th of July (or equivalent), no Labor Day or Thanksgiving.  Outside of the major agreed upon weeks, its pretty much straight through.  Additionally, if you need/want to take a day or two outside of the agreed dates, it is a major hassle, because everyone EXPECTS you to be there.  It's almost shocking if you aren't.

6) Lack of language skills / guy friends.  If you had told me a year ago that I would barely know any more Swedish words than I did then, or that I wouldn't have any guys that I would meet up and grab a beer with on a random Saturday, I would have laughed in your face.  Unfortunately, I would have been wrong....For some reason Swedish just hasn't stuck with either of us (not so for calvin), and while Lisa has made friends, Ive relied much more on party-skypes with buddies from home.

high five - early in a game obviously

      When I think of how our lives have changed in the past year, it is really incredible.  Of course, watching Calvin grow is amazing but that would happen regardless of where we lived.  I think both Lisa and I have changed so much since we've had the unique opportunity to become a stronger family unit.  Since we're still relatively new "outsiders," we don't have an established group of friends to go out with.  That may sound negative, but it means that we end up having a lot of together time as a couple - which is a super huge positive.  Seeing how this move has strengthened our family unit has made all of the difficulties worth it.  We know that we will continue to be challenged but that as time goes on, we will become more comfortable, adaptable and unafraid to continue to try new things.  We really love incorporating new Swedish traditions into our American traditions.

      Cheers to a fabulous year full of new discoveries, friends, opportunities, and continued personal and professional growth.

Lake skating

An ice skater's nightmare

Our house is situated within walking distance to a nature reserve and beautiful lake.  We went swimming in the lake's cool waters in August and at that time, I don't think we ever imagined we would be out ice skating on it a few months later.

Our first winter, we saw people walking on Lake Mälaren and thought they were insane (I still think so) and Jon and I swore that we wouldn't unnecessarily risk Calvin's life by pushing a stroller on the lake, as we saw some Stockholmites doing.  As the winter turned to spring, we saw just how long it took the frozen lake to thaw -- the air temperature has to be above 0C for weeks -- not hours or days.  The lake is really, really frozen. Never say never, huh?

This winter has been the coldest on record for the past 10 years, so we thought that the lake was good and frozen.  It also helped that a huge truck plows the snow off of the lake to create a long circuitous route around the perimeter of the lake.  OK, if a 2 ton truck doesn't fall through the ice, I suppose it'll hold little 'ole me.  I was told that the ice was 30cm thick -- anything thicker 10cm is considered safe.  Jon bought us ice skates (he bought me fancy Figure Ice Skates) while out on his winter gear shopping spree so we were eager to test them out.

Day 1 -- divide and conquer

Still trying to "play it safe" we decided to split up and skate separately while one of us stayed with Calvin -- safe at shore.  I made Jon watch about 15 minutes on how to react when you fall through the ice on YouTube (instructional video here) and some ice safety picks (kind of like these: Ice Safety Picks) so we could drag ourselves out if need be.  The ice picks were about $15 -- pretty cheap life insurance.

Calvin didn't really like it when we separated, so Jon headed home a little early while I practiced my loopdy-loops.  Skating on the lake was a little challenging but it was really smooth and there was only snow in a few places.  The snow acts as a brake on the skates and sometimes pulled on one skate more than the other.  Considering my balance was already a little off, any little bump felt like a near death experience.  Apparently being scared half to death is a good workout because my legs were sore the next day.  Skating also warmed us up really quickly -- its great for the core, legs and cardio.  Now you know why those figure skaters are so slim.  Jon will be doing Brian Boitano moves before too long

Day 2 - Enjoying the sun

We invited our friend, Pamela, to come to "our lake" for some ice skating.  It was a beautifully sunny day and she was game.  We decided to change our game plan a bit and put Calvin in the stroller, rather than the sled, to see if we'd have better luck and less tears.  Calvin just likes being pushed so he can look around. He was tired of looking at Jon's butt while being dragged in the sled.  The day was beautiful and the lake was crowded.  Kids were playing hockey, girls were practicing their loopy jumps and Pam and I tried skating backwards a bit.  After nearly falling a gazillion times due to the hidden cracks in the ice (hidden beneath snow), we did two laps and decided to head back for a warm coffee fika break.  I put out delicious muffins, digestive cookies and a banana for Calvin.  Despite being a picky eater he sure loves his baked goods!  The day was super awesome and one of those moments where you fall in love with Sweden, its people, and even its winter,  all over again.

                         

     

Snow hides cracks - where is the plow when you need it?

Post skating fika is the best

P.S. Any day when the sun is shining during winter, requires spending a few hours outside - regardless of the air temperature.

Vintage Calvin

Sometimes I forget how much he has changed in such a short amount of time.  Looking back at my Facebook timeline, I found this terrifying gem:

Lisa Ferland

December 17, 2011 via mobile

Calvin's new sleep record: 9:30pm-5:50am. Success!

I'm so glad that Calvin sleeps 11-12 hours now.  It's liberating to have our nights back!

Here is an old Calvin video -- some "Vintage Calvin" for nostalgia's sake.  I'm so glad that we took so many videos because you really forget all of their gurgles and dinosaur noises.  I also forgot that he would wake up and fall asleep all within one minute.

my hearing is deteriorating quickly...

When we first came out here (almost a year ago!!!), we thought it was completely strange that Europeans couldn’t tell whether we were from America, England, Australia, South Africa, whatever.  They definitely knew we weren’t Swedish and that we were native English speakers, but that was about it.  We had a lot of laughs about this – just good times laughing at the silly foreigners (locals) that we would meet.

Oh, how we laughed.

Then we went almost a year without hearing many people at all speak American English (in person at least)

Now, I find myself gravitating towards anyone I hear speaking “native English”.  My ears perk up and I try to figure out where they are from.  

The problem is that I DON’T RECOGNIZE IT right away.  Yesterday in the lunch room, I could have sworn that the guy next to me was from some random city in the US as he was talking to a coworker.  Only after five minutes and hearing him refer to someone as a “bloke” did I figure out that he was from Australia, not Kansas City. 

This has happened a few times in the past number of weeks, and I’m not exactly sure why.  Again, I can still pick up on native-english speakers, I just am losing the ability to know which country they are from.  Really, really odd and disconcerting. 

I think we’ll need to step up our skype game, and have more people visit us soon…

and I apologize for ever finding this funny....

The Swedish Method to Lose that Baby Weight!

A big issue for moms (everywhere, I think) is losing that post-baby pregnancy weight.  Granted a ton of it comes off after delivering your baby, but I see posts in magazines and online about moms who just can't lose those last 10-15 pounds.  One thing I noticed upon arriving to Stockholm was that all of the moms here are stick skinny.  Aside from their comfort breastfeeding in public (no La Leche League here needed!), they all tend to look like they never gave birth.  There's no "mommy pouch" in front and they are all carrying <2 month old babies around.  Why is this? How can so many magazines be making money on telling you their tips when these women just seem to do it so effortlessly?    Is there some secret that they know that we don't?

Nope -- here are my main two observations:

1. They walk a few hours every day
2. They don't own cars (the main reason for point #1)

It's actually very easy.  At first I gave all of the credit to their Viking-genes and just thought Swedes were "naturally thin."  No, they are "naturally" fit -- their lifestyle and societal norms make it (somewhat) expected to get out of the house and walk around everyday.  During your parental leave, you push a large stroller, often through snow, for several hours a day.  If you've ever pushed a stroller with a child in it for just 1 hour, you will quickly realize what a workout it truly is.  Now, put that stroller into 4 inches of snow and you'll very quickly be winded, tired and sore. (Walking through snow is essentially like walking on the beach -- you have no traction and each step seems to be 'in place' rather than propelling you forward).

Combine ALL of that with the numerous hills that comprise Stockholm and it's absolutely no surprise at all that Swedish moms lose all of that baby weight without having to even think about it.  They just live their lives -- a normally active one -- and the weight falls off.  Breastfeeding plus walking for hours and lugging a huge stroller (and baby) up stairs, escalators, buses and trains means that calories expended greatly outweigh any conceivable caloric intake.

Deep snow makes for tough pushing

Not owning a car means that you have to walk everywhere (duh). It also means that when you go to the grocery/liquor store, you only buy what you can carry.  This means that you can only really carry enough food for 2-3 days max before you have to go out again.  This works out your arms and also means that you are only eating what is absolutely necessary.  You're not stocking up on food to snack throughout the day and you're not wasting food (and money) because you eat everything before it expires. What a life!

It's that easy folks!  So there is no "secret Viking gene," just good old fashioned exercise and a reasonable diet.

One major difference is that the moms in Stockholm do all of the above and they still look fabulous.  Their hair and makeup are perfect and they wear heeled boots (why I don't know).  For me, personally, I'm about comfort and warmth so I look more like this:

Hajah what? Another hill??

 and less like this:

So in conclusion, you too can do "The Swedish Method" to lose that weight -- ditch the car and walk to the grocery store every 2 days. Push your stroller outside for a few hours every day (go up every hill) during your maternity leave and I guarantee you will be back in your pre-pregnancy jeans before you go back to work.

Find the right jogging stroller for you!

Summer Solstice vs. Winter Solstice – WHO YA GOT????

July

December 

vs

As we’ve mentioned, folks out here are much more aware of the seasons and of nature than we were used to from the States.  Now that we’ve experienced both, I figured it was a good time to figure out which one was better.  In the spirit of the NFL playoffs, I decided to break it down “game preview style” (bill simmons style, basically)

In case you aren’t familiar, up here in the northlands, the sun is a fickle mistress. In the summer, the sun rises at 3:31 and “sets” at 10:08pm (18h, 37m and 12s). Compare this to the winter, when the sun is only “up” from 8:44 to 2:48 – 6h, 4m and 44s.  And yes, “sets” and “up” are in quotations because neither one actually happens….

Now that you are familiar, on to the breakdown!

Preseason Expectations –   If you asked me a year ago, this would have been easy.  I was SUPER hyped for constant sunlight and thought that I would go into a severe depression in December.  We had a bunch of friends visit us in the summertime, but shockingly, not too many folks asked about our availability in the dead of winter.

Advantage - SUMMER

General Mood – The biggest holiday of the year here is the summer solstice in mid-June. It’s like 4^th of July at home, except WAY more pagan – which is a good thing.  Everyone goes to their summer homes, grills out, takes their boats on the archipelago and drinks “snaps”.  Also, month long vacation starts in July, so everyone is in a pretty good mood.

The winter solstice would be super depressing if it wasn’t for Christmas (tangential rumor I heard is that this why the Church made Christmas right around Solstice – so that it would be a new beginning and the world came out of darkness).  Luckily, Christmas here is really great, so for the last month with the most darkness, people are distracted by all the pretty lights and good cheer.

This year we got lucky and it was already snowing a lot by Solstice, which made it a lot brighter.  If that wasn’t there though, it would have been REALLY dark and depressing. 

Due to the Christmas season, I am tempted to make this a draw – but Swedes become pretty reserved during this season, so I’m going to go with:

Advantage - SUMMER

Day-After Feeling – This might be the easiest one.  One June 22^nd this year, I could almost feel the darkness enveloping me.  I knew it was going to get darker, and darker, and darker each day.  Really killed my “snaps” buzz. 

On the flip side, on Dec 22, I felt like it was noticeably brighter and that we had weathered the worst of the year.  Also, it was basically Christmas.

Advantage - WINTER

Sleep Schedule – Luckily Calvin is a great sleeper, because I was really nervous that he wouldn’t be able to sleep at all in constant daylight.  And it was really weird putting him down to sleep when we had 3+ hours of BRIGHT sunlight left in the day.  He did generally get up earlier than normal – 5 o’clock hour almost every day of my July vacation, rather than the normal 630-7ish. Lis had to resort to eyeshades at night, and we both became basically sleep-deprived a bit.

Winter is obviously fantastic for sleeping – you don’t need to worry about the sun waking you up for a solid 3-4 months.  So that’s a big win….

Advantage - WINTER

Uniqueness / Weirdness – The darkness is tough because it is so short, but it’s not THAT much shorter than what we dealt with growing up in the northeast. 

The summer though is NUTS.  It is completely odd to have it be twilight-ish coming back from the bars at 2am, or to have the sun wake you up at 5.  Definitely the more unique of the solstices.

Advantage - SUMMER

Tools Needed to Adapt –

Summer – Night shades (making me feel like a pampered, rich elderly lady,  blackout curtains (sold in stores and do their best to block out the sun)

Winter – stars to put in your window (“Christmas” tradition that we are keeping up year round), candles (placed outside doors of stores or homes to welcome you inside), self tanning bulbs (we don’t have these, but lis does have a valentines gift coming up soon), vitamin D supplements (for Calvin, but if we siphon off a bit that’s not a bad thing right?)

Advantage – WINTER (Calvin LOOOOVES the star and would be upset if it lost)

Drinking Ability – This is the most difficult area to score.

On one hand, everyone knows that “day drinking” is always the best kind of party.  It’s usually done at a ballgame, tailgate, beach, bbq, etc.  Always a great time.  During summer solstice though, it’s 24 hr day drinking time!  As I alluded to before, even if you are walking your way back home in the late night / early morning (I did this once, but it makes me feel tough to keep bringing it up), its still daylight.  Your energy to keep rockin’ out is unmatched. 

On the flip side, having 20hrs of darkness means that you can ACTUALLY drink during the day and not feel like a degenerate.  Get home on Saturday and get the party started, it’s pitch black out! Granted, its 3pm, but STILL – it’s dark out.  Also, Lis and I had dinner reservations at 5pm one night when the Dwyers were in town to babysit.  Because it had been dark for 2 hours already, it didn’t even feel like it was “too early” for us to sit down.  So that’s nice.

Basically, this comes down to whether is more fun to party in the sunlight, or party during the day.  Not a distinction I’ve ever had to make before, but in this case, I have to go with…

Advantage:  SUMMER

Overall Winner -  So there you have it – by a score of 4-3, (based on my drinking preference evidently), the best solstice of the year is found in the SUMMER

Congratulations to the winning solstice, they truly deserve their victory.

Now to get ready for the Patriot and Falcons games this weekend!!!

Some days I just can't get up either

Swedish Snow - why it's not so bad

I've never been a fan of snow.  I'm not one of those people who travels to snowy places to go skiing or snowboarding.  Any winter sports I attempt are because others think it's fun and I just go along to get along.  Growing up in Upstate New York, I can remember only a few times where the snow hung on the trees and there was sunshine and blue sky.  Those days were absolutely beautiful, but they were few and far between.  Most days involved slush, gray skies, and my parents making me shovel the most dreadful part of the driveway -- where the driveway meets the road and all of the plowed snow from the street is as hard as concrete.  (Oh and don't think for a second that I'm not going to make Calvin do the same thing. What's the point in having kids if you aren't going to give them the tough jobs that you don't want anymore?

Happy New Year! (Married-couple-with-a-kid-style)

Our New Year's Eve celebration once involved ballrooms, high heels and open bars. However, since Calvin's arrival and the onset of older age... Jon and I were looking forward to a really nice dinner - lobster and clams - and a opening a bottle of nice Viennese wine.  We thought we might watch a movie to stretch us closer to midnight, watch some fireworks on tv and turn in "early."  We were caught unawares when we started hearing random fireworks going off at random intervals outside our house starting at 4pm (aka complete darkness).  Looking out our back window, we caught glimpses of fireworks going off