Embracing fredagsmys

During my intensive Swedish language course, our teacher introduced me to some new aspects of Swedish culture. Some of the cultural nuances of Swedish life are the types of things I probably would learn if I was married to a Swede but since we're all Americans over here, I had to learn these in the classroom.

One Swedish concept that I brought home with me was the concept of fredagsmys. Swedes love to throw two words together, like fredag (Friday) and mys (coziness) to create a new word. It translates into, "Cozy Friday." The concept is that at the end of a busy work week, you just want to relax and unwind. Swedes usually celebrate fredagsmys by buying and eating a ton of chips, candy and other junk food snacks while watching a fun movie with the family. Cell phones, tablets and computers are put away for non-electronic forms of entertainment to unwind and reconnect.

But Lisa, you just said they watch a movie. Aren't movies electronic forms of entertainment? I know, I know but this is how they celebrate it. I don't make the fredagsmys rules.

Having survived numerous cold and dark winters in Sweden, I can attest to how fredagsmys became so popular. The lighting of candles around the house, snuggling into warm blankets and eating a metric ton of chips would make me feel all warm and cozy too.

We are implementing fredagsmys in our house every Friday. This Friday, our fredagsmys activity will be a fun game of Yahtzee with the kids - they love throwing dice everywhere - and eating some frozen pizza because nobody wants to cook. We can be lazy on Fridays! It's fredagsmys time!

What I love about this is that everyone can implement fredagsmys in their homes if they want - living in Sweden or elsewhere. Turn off your cell phone, put away your troubles for the day and cozy up with a good book and some salty snacks.

Happy Friday!

The Sorriest Playground

One of our favorite things to do with our children is what we've dubbed, The Playground Crawl. We love to explore new cities by going on a little tour of their playgrounds and hopping from place to place with random stops for coffees for the adults and ice cream for everyone. We've happily toured Stockholm and Lyon in this manner and were looking forward to discovering the plentiful playgrounds of Hoboken. We had only a few days to share between Hoboken, NJ and Manhattan before we flew back to Stockholm at the end of our vacation and we figured a scenic Playground Crawl of Hoboken's finest play spaces was the best way to finish up our vacation.

Hoboken has some of the most scenic playgrounds I have ever seen. It is such a family friendly city, in close commuting distance to NYC, and the playgrounds were top notch. There were spongy recycled tire shreds/sneaker rubber used as a soft crash pad that replaced dirt in most areas, the play equipment was new and in good condition and the views were incredible. Most playgrounds had a nice smattering of shade provided by beautifully tall trees and they all had a water feature of some sort to help the children cool off a bit and splash around. I did a quick survey and determined that neither of my children would ever be able to hurt themselves in this environment and settled on a nearby bench to finally relax and enjoy my coffee.

And that's when I first heard it..."Sorry!"

It was the first, but certainly not the last, unnecessary apology I heard that morning. Once you start hearing something, your ears seek it out and you just can't stop hearing it.

5 Ways Sweden Could Celebrate their National Day - if they cared

Princess Estelle 

When it comes to celebrating patriotism, we are somewhat disappointed in the way that Swedes go about celebrating - or ignoring - their own national holiday. June 6th was deemed Sweden's Nationaldag only about 10 years ago, so it's a relatively new holiday. Even still, Swedes approach this day as they would any other normal day. There are no BBQs, no parades, no fireworks, basically nothing to distinguish this day from any other. Only a few houses put out their Swedish flags in honor of the former flag day. Why? The Local had an article about why so many Swedes ignore National Day which touches on why most Swedes approach this day with such apathy.

I spoke with our neighbors and they said it would be most Swedish to ignore the day completely since it isn't rooted in any history and they don't have any traditions. Why not have fun with a made up holiday? Geez, Americans do it all of the time. In fact, we borrow other countries' holidays and Americanize them just so we have more fun ways to celebrate. If the holiday falls on a weekday, we celebrate it the following Saturday but we would never just ignore a holiday - even one that is artificially created. Are Americans just designed to celebrate? Who doesn't love a good party?!?

Being the flag-flying patriotic American that I am, I've brainstormed up a few ways in which Swedes could celebrate their National Day and create some new traditions. Being Swedish is pretty great, in my opinion, and it's time to embrace that even if it's just one day a year.

1. Give everyone the day off 
This year, National Day fell on a Saturday but Sweden didn't turn it into a 3-day weekend. Instead, they gave everyone a flex holiday to take whenever they wanted. That's great and all but it doesn't allow people to take a long weekend to visit their country house or make plans with friends and family like ALL of the other holidays provide. Give the people an actual day off and people are more likely to celebrate or make plans that result in traditions.

2. Schedule a community event - a 10K race + parade 
The 10K race, Osterakersmilen, was scheduled for 6pm on Friday June 5th. WHY NOT HOLD IT ON JUNE 6TH?!? Absolutely nobody is doing anything on June 6th and it happens to be National Day. This was a major opportunity lost, in my opinion. You already have a group of runners who love running in the 10K race every June, why not turn it into a really fun family-friendly holiday tradition? Add in a parade after the race and now you really have a celebration! Every community could organize something of this nature.

3. You need a song
Sweden has some of the best song writers in the world and a Swede just won Eurovision. Can someone please create a really catchy, fun-to-sing song about National Day? Nothing gets patriotism going like a moving song that touches on your emotions and swells up your pride.

4. Give away cheap flags/Swedish memorabilia
This one is easy - hand out really cheap Swedish flags or something similar at the grocery store on that day. Maybe blue and yellow carnation flowers? Balloons? Pins? I don't know - there are a gazillion things you can do to easily help people proudly display (or accidentally display) that they are Swedish.

5. Fireworks
Sweden erupts in fireworks every New Year's Eve and each neighborhood hosts it's own informal fireworks display. If each kommun organized a fireworks show then this would be another fun way - combined with the 10K race, parade and balloons and whatnot - to cap off the evening of a fun National Day.

Maybe I'm trying to impose too much Americana (basically a Swedish 4th of July) on Sweden but it just seems like a major loss to never truly celebrate being Swedish - or worse yet, to ignore it completely. Don't take your perfectly working social system with your universal health care, clean and efficient public transportation and the best parental leave benefits in the world for granted. It looks really insane to the rest of the world when Swedes have all of these things and then refuse to enjoy being Swedish.

Only in Sweden would I...

Inspired by fellow expat blogger, Life with Baby Kicks, I wanted to write about the things that I would have never ever thought of doing if we still lived back in the States. Swedish society is remarkably different and I think that over time, I've integrated in unexpected ways. Since integration happens gradually, it's only when you pause for a moment - maybe when reheating my coffee for the third time - to reflect back on how much your life has changed.

1.   Encourage my children to sleep outside

I must be crazy, right? You do remember that we live in Sweden where it is cold and dark for 6 months out of the year. That's no condition for a little baby to be sleeping in! Well, not only is it culturally acceptable to keep your child outside, sleeping sweetly in their stroller - it's actually encouraged. I once had an elderly woman reprimand me for keeping Calvin sheltered under a plastic covering because, "the fresh cold air is good for his lungs." She was right, as most old ladies are. Both of my children slept very well - like 3 hour nap well - outside in the winter air. Of course I kept them bundled in their snowsuits in their stroller sleeping bag contraption so warmth was never a concern. Nobody ever called the police for child neglect and I got to enjoy a nice cup of coffee sitting at my kitchen table, observing my sleeping angel through my window. Gotta love Sweden.

Here is Lucy just waking up from her outdoor naps - so snug as a bug in a rug outside in the cold winter air.

2.   Ice skating on the sea

Swedish schools will take their students out to the nearest frozen lake or sea, cut a hole in the ice, and demonstrate how to properly extract yourself should you fall through the ice. The students must then each jump in the water, feel the icy shock, and climb out by themselves. Why is this deemed a necessary exercise? Because everyone ice skates or XC skis on the frozen ice in the winter time. We discovered that to combat the winter blues, you need to get out of the house every weekend and get your blood moving. Lake or sea skating is just the thing!

3.   Living near the water

Before moving to Sweden, we had only lived in cities. I lived in Tampa for college and Jon grew up in Rhode Island, but I never imagined that we would ever live within a quick walk or bike ride to a beautiful beach. Stockholm has made it easy by being a city of islands and we've managed to live near the coast everywhere we have lived in Sweden thus far. I'll even "settle" for a lake but living near a body of water is at the top of my list of wonderful perks.

4.   Sledding as the main mode of transportation

In the wintertime, sometimes the pedestrian pathways aren't plowed first thing in the morning but I still need to get my children to school. The stroller gets bogged down with too much snow and walking becomes too difficult for the kids. What to do? Break out the sleds and drag those kids down the hill! They love riding in their sleds and it's become the preferred mode of transportation for all involved. Lucy wanted to go sledding last week and we are in the middle of spring, so it's safe to say that sleds are always fun and not something we ever did much of living in Atlanta.

5.   Living off of the land

I have always loved camping and nature and now we have fully embraced the Swedish culture of blueberry picking in the spring/summer and mushroom picking in the fall. The forests are open to all and you are legally allowed to blueberry/mushroom pick anywhere except directly in front of someone's house. We have discovered our own "secret spot" in the woods close to our house that yields a ton of chanterelles. Last year, we enlisted the help of our friend, Samantha, to help us pick enough blueberries for a delicious pie. We needed 3 adults to offset the balance of the kids just picking and eating their share.

I have two driver's licenses now!

Our American driver's licenses were only valid for a year when we moved to Sweden. Even with a valid license, driving in this country is difficult to do if you don't understand the road signs or have awareness of the right hand rule (yield to cars approaching from your right if you are not on a "main" road as designated by a road sign).  And let's face it, none of us worked very hard to earn that first driver's license in the US. I was very proud when I got my driver's license in high school but it's been a long time of building bad habits since then.

We applied to have our licenses extended and with just a moderate fee, my license was extended until February 28, 2015. As any good procrastinator knows, a little bit of pressure is good for getting things done.

As I mentioned in my previous post Glögg-er: Getting a Swedish Driver's License, getting a Swedish driver's license is a four part process and is quite expensive (~$1500). There was extra incentive for me to pass on the first round as Jonathan had passed with flying colors and I've always held the belief that I am a superior driver.  Bragging rights aside, we both worked very hard to pass on our first attempts. We have seen and heard about many people, Swedes even, who do not pass on the first try.

The theory test was by far the most difficult. As I waited in the holding cell/waiting room with the other potential drivers, people exited classrooms after taking the exam. I wasn't worried until I saw a woman weeping on her way out. She was wiping the tears off of her face and looked completely disheartened. Oh no. I took out my book and did some last minute cramming as we waited in line for our exam.

The test is taken on the computer and they provide a calculator for those physics questions (I'm not joking) and everyone has a different mix of questions so there is no advantage to looking at the person next to you. At the beginning of the exam, the introduction says that "there are many correct answers listed as options, you must select the best correct answer." Thanks a lot! After reviewing each question twice, double guessing myself, I gathered up the courage to click SUBMIT and saw the green text, "Passed!" through squinted eyes. I was the first person out of the classroom and basically skipped out of the building. So long suckers! Hit me with your next shot!

The driving exam wasn't difficult for me because my driving instructor had prepared me for most of the driving scenarios I would encounter during our 5 private lessons. They were worth every penny because without them, I would've had no idea what they were looking for. Essentially, all emphasis is on safety and continuing the flow of traffic. Prior to the test, the evaluator (?), driving tester(?) told me that her boss would be riding in the car with us as he was evaluating HER performance. My reply, "great, then we'll all be a little nervous." After about 4 minutes of driving, I shook off the nerves and felt confident that my driving was sufficient to pass. I didn't have to parallel park or do any of the really tricky traffic situations that I had prepared for, so I felt as if I had a moderately easy exam. Or perhaps I am just that good of a driver(?) Either way, the worst is over and now I have "free" time as my nights are no longer spent studying traffic rules, regulations and signs. Woo hoo! It's like I'm 16 again! So legal to drive wherever I want!