Fashion Flubs in Trendy Stockholm

Being out of touch in the fashion world is nothing new to me.  I have my solid colored shirts, jeans and I'm good to go.  I've been living in the same walking/hiking shoes/boots for the past 10 years or so (much to the horror of my fashion conscious friends).  I will constantly opt for comfort over fashion, so I was hesitant to comment AT ALL on fashion in Stockholm which is notoriously unique in its stylings.

Personally, I find some of the fashion here to be absolutely hideous and trashy.  Jon thinks that "trashy" might be overstating it a little but I think that's because he enjoys watching these young Swedish women prance around in short shorts.  I can't blame him really either.

A few things to note -- the older people here (i.e., senior citizens) really know how to dress snappy.  Their clothes are always clean and pressed and have that old timey feel to them.  Kind of like when women used to get dressed up to go to the bank back in the 1950s -- except they still do that here.  It's like we never left the 50's -- well, for them anyway.

Ok, onto general fashion trends...

Stripes/Nautical 

This makes sense because we are surrounded by water.  People wear boat shoes around but most people opt for bare feet on their boats.  These are my kind of people! I can get behind the striped look. It's pretty cute.  Also, most women here range from size 0-4 so they can get away with stripes every day.

80's attack

I was just a newbie when the 80's fashion was in full swing, but I distinctly remember bright neon clothing, Molly Ringwald flowered hats and blousy shirts and high-waisted pants.  Not only have Stockholmites decided that the 80's should be relived but they have apparently brought back only the most hideous styles.  I saw a woman wearing a neon blue windbreaker today...not kidding.  Just when you thought it was safe to go outside, you run across a pair of stirrup pants! Shriek!

Booty shorts with black hose

If you are anyone besides a professional MODEL, you CANNOT pull this off.  Some of the teenagers at the high school across from our apartment have decided that ripping giant streaks in their black panty hose makes them look rebellious.  Instead, they look quite trashy.

Visible underwear

I thought the point of undergarments was to hide them beneath your clothing. Instead, bras are a new accessory and feature prominently through your very-thin-I-can-see-your-bra shirt.  Clearly, this is a summer-only type style here in Stockholm and I'm not sure how I feel about it.  I'm leaning towards trashy but depending on the outfit, it can come out looking quite cute.

Sweatpants

I'm not sure who told these ladies that sweatpants were acceptable to wear anywhere except a college campus at 8am, but they should be informed immediately! I'm all for comfort but there is a limit people!

Hammer time pants

It's Hammer-Time! This is a fashion-don't if I ever saw one.  Nobody's crotch should ever become a walking hazard.

Mom Jeans (high waisted AND tapered)

OK, ok, Stockholm has probably the highest density of moms per capita, so you would think that they could get a free pass on this one.  But NO! I've seen very very young non-moms sporting the mom jean look causing my jaw to gape open in amazement.  You mean you are wearing these intentionally and not by some oversight because you were distracted while raising your family for the past 2 decades???!?!? What other excuse is there?  No 17 year old young lady should be wearing mom jeans at the beach! For heaven's sake! Have some sense of decency!  And mom-jean shorts...well, just forget about it!


So, that's it for now. I'm sure there will be more fashion atrocities that I find humorous in the near future.  Walking around Stockholm is interesting (to say the least) and the people watching is entertaining for hours.  Who needs to read books or listen to music when you can watch the most interesting fashion choices stroll by, smoke cigarettes and push baby strollers.

Topics that I don't care enough about to give full articles...

I’ve tried recently to put out a lot more blogs, but my queue is still building up, so I figured it was random observations time.  As usual, just a few little things that have jumped out at me, but are not long enough for full-length blogs.

Linguistic Oddity #1 - Pie v cake – When we were having a few meetings discussing the presentation we were building, I kept getting confused with everyone talking about cake.  It was “cake this” and “cake that” and, because we have pastries delivered to the office every other week, I was getting pumped up.  Then I realized that they all substituted “cake” for “pie” when discussing pie charts – “we need to get a bigger piece of the cake” instead of “we need to get a bigger piece of the pie”.  Just a slightly different take on it, but it really threw me for a loop.  Thinking about it, I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen many “pies” available at the bakeries here, just various sorts of cakes, tarts and pastries.  So maybe the “pie” analogy just wouldn’t make sense here.  Regardless, this will require more visits to the bakery to investigate further…

 Linguistic Oddity #2 - Question Marks  – Normally when talking about an issue, ‘mericans say “well, that is the question”.  Here though, I’ve heard numerous folks say “well, that is the question mark”.  Just a fun little discrepancy there.

Linguistic Oddity #3 - Facebook “Assault”  – I overheard my coworker (mid-30s single Greek/Swede guy) talking to some folks the other day.  I initially started paying attention when he started explaining how he was “assaulted” the other day, then became perplexed when he explained that people “liked” it afterwards without knowing.  He then repeated the story to someone else how he had been “Facebook Assaulted”, and someone had posted a fraudulent status that garnered a number of likes from his friends.  No one else had batted an eye during this, so I’m not sure if this is a Swedish thing to use “assaulted” (actually a little more graphic verb) instead of hacked, but I don’t like this oddity as much as the whole pie vs cake thing. 

Dogs -  In the US, you would only see a dog off it’s leash in public when at a dog park.  NOT HERE – it’s everywhere.  In the park, on the running path, in the middle of the sidewalk, crossing the street, there are no limits here.  I’m not sure if they just spend all winter just training their dogs to not leave their side or what, but I know that if Darby (Bessie loves food too much) is off her leash for 2 seconds she will sprint after the nearest duck/rabbit/squirrel/shadow and we will never see her again.  Give us one more winter I guess

Pocket squares – All the euro-guys at work wear pocket squares in their suit jackets.  I realized that my suit jackets looked really, really plain, so I added that little item to my birthday list for this year.  I’m in the fashion capital of Scandinavia – I need to step my game up.  

Live odds during sporting events – When I’ve watched hockey or fotbol on TV and I’ve gotten confused at the sports ticker on the bottom of the screen.  It popped up every few minutes, but the scores didn’t really make sense to me.  That’s when I noticed that they were sponsored by betus.com, livesports.com and a few other online betting sites.  Evidently these were the live odds offered by the online gambling companies.  So if the original odds have Stockholm as the big favorite against Helsinki, but then Helsinki scores a goal, they will update the odds in real time so that degenerate/awesome gamblers can put more money down.  I love it because it is so different from the US method of trying to pretend that sports betting doesn’t exist or that it is the end of pure sports or whatever.  Unfortunately I don’t know enough about soccer or hockey to take advantage of these bets and pay off calvin’s college fund, but if I see these things on during an American football  broadcast, I am IN!

Decks – Now that it is nice out, a lot more restaurants offer seating outside.  By that, I don’t mean that they just toss a few tables and chairs out there – I mean that they build a whole deck, taking up 90% of their sidewalk.  I’m assuming that this isn’t the first time they’ve done this, which means that they must rip down the decks come Sept/October.  These guys LOVE the outdoors once it gets nice out!

Blankets – Along with the whole “outside seating” thang, it’s also been interesting that each bar with a  deck has a pile of blankets available for patrons.  These were available in the winter, but honestly, who would sit outside in the Stockholm winter.  Now though, if the sun goes behind the clouds, the blankets are “really comfy cozy!” (according to lis)

Hockey Sticks – I know that I joked when we first moved out here that I was going to get big into hockey and that Calvin would become a gretzky-style star.  But really, these guys LOVE hockey.  Even now in the summer, I see people walking around with hockey sticks (usually the plastic ones).  Doesn’t matter if it is on the Ericsson campus, at the café or in the subway.  Young, old, guy, girl no difference – they are always ready if a faceoff challenge occurs at any point.