Sleep Adjustments - A tale of tears, snot and screams

So, we have adjusted fairly well (within 3-4 days or so) to the jet lag and the time change.  It has taken a little more time to adjust to the cultural and language differences but that was expected.  Calvin, on the other hand, has adjusted quite nicely.  I think we can attribute a lot of it to his age -- 9 months.  At this age, he is not attached to anything.  He is definitely attached to me (at the hip!) and his daddy but other than that, he wouldn't really notice if things change -- which they have.

The hardest adjustment for me, and Calvin I suppose, was the sleeping through the night.  We had him on a set routine of 7pm-6:30am that was locked in.  We worked very hard to get (and keep) him to those hours.  Moving 6 hours ahead definitely messed with that routine and we all paid for it.  I wasn't sure how much sleep training to do with him while he was adjusting.  On one hand, you can't pick him up every time he cries in his crib because that's sending the wrong message and will delay things.  In the end, we let him get up and play when he was awake at 2am for the first few nights -- mostly because we were still jet lagged and wide awake ourselves.  I made a point to take him out and about with us as much as possible.  We ran errands during the day, explored the grocery store, and went for long walks along the lake.

By the 4th night, I decided that it was time to re-start the sleep training.  It was rough.  Not only was my inner mommy hating the fact that he was screaming these blood chilling screams but I was also acutely aware that we are in an apartment -- not a townhouse in Atlanta.  This is Sweden! They protect their children with ferocity and I was somewhat nervous that our neighbors would call child protection services (or the Swedish equivalent) on us for letting our baby cry for 30 mins at a time.

The sleep training was further complicated because Calvin decided that he enjoyed flinging his body all around his crib.  He had turned into a baby possessed.  Even if I did pick him up to calm him down, he would throw his weight around and thrash at my face and chest.  We loaded up his crib with pacifiers so that he could always find one, only to discover that he was throwing them all out of his crib.  Jon looked at me and said, "We need to get bumpers."  Umm, bumpers in the closest baby store were going to cost $70.  No bumpers!  Instead, I fashioned my own ghetto bumpers to fix the escaping pacifier problem.  I folded over some flat sheets and weaved them in and out of the crib bars (see the pic above). Perfect! Why would anyone spend $70 on padded bumpers?  Oh, wait. I know why.  While sheets prevent the pacifiers from being thrown out, it does NOTHING to prevent Calvin's head from crashing into the bars of the crib.  Whenever he got into his thrashing fits, he would slam his head on the crib and start wailing again. Well, sorry kid.  You just have to calm down because I'm still not paying $70 for bumpers when his original bumpers are on a container ship crossing the Atlantic with the rest of our stuff.

Fortunately, for everyone, whoever built this house in the 1900s must have lined the walls and doors with lead.  You could definitely hear him in the hallway but somewhat faintly.  We survived 2 nights of the snot, screams and tears (without CPS knocking on our door) and now he is on a new nap and sleeping schedule.  We actually achieved an 8pm-8am once! It hasn't been repeated yet but I expect he will only become more regular as we maintain our nightly routine.

When Calvin goes to bed, I scramble to get all of the household chores done.  Yeah, yeah, "sleep when he sleeps" -- yeah right!  That's when I enjoy a nice shower, finish the dishes, clean up his toys and sweep the floor.  The ticker starts at 45 minutes so it's a mad dash to get everything done before I hear his little putters.

Oh and he is totally playing us with his wimpers.  I have peeked in twice and found him with 2 pacifiers in his mouth at the same time -- "how many will fit in here?"  and the other time I checked in on him, he had a pacifier in his mouth, threw it down and cried to be picked up.  In other words, he is completely fine.

Maybe I can sleep in here with Bessie!

Mistakes are Costly

Moving is always expensive.  If you move down the street, you have to cancel your cable service and register your new address -- they charge a connection fee, etc.  However, moving internationally is expensive in ways that most people don't think about.

It's the hidden costs: the ones you incur when you make mistakes.  It's the groceries you buy erroneously -- like thinking you bought a delicious beer when in fact it'll tear your guts out ...ahem Falcon Beer.  Or earnestly buying an unlimited weekly T-bana pass for your wife who then only rides it twice (sorry!). Getting hungrily stuck in a hipster urban deli without any lunch option for less than $25.  You end up shamelessly licking every corner of that plate to get your money's worth and end up hating the fact that you paid way more for too little just because you're in a trendy neighborhood.

We aren't hung up on designer anything.  I could care less about designer clothes, food, or hip neighborhoods.  We aren't trying to be fashionable -- we don't have the money or the mindset to even attempt it.  So when we buy the wrong item or order from an expensive menu there is a little part of us that inwardly cringes with the slightest regret.  Instead of freaking out though, we just look around and think - -well, this will be "an experience".  Sure it's a crappy cafe and we're stuck in a dark corner but we'll remember this tasty piece of cake. Or, hopefully, we'll never remember the lunch that left us hungry and our wallets empty.

In the end, it's the mistakes that are costly and unfortunately, those are difficult to avoid at the moment.  Newbies always make mistakes.

Stockholm City Hall -- surprisingly beautiful

Today we went on a guided tour of Stockholm's City Hall and were quite surprised by all of its history and background.  The outside of the building, I have to say, is not that striking.  It looks fairly plain and like a functional building that sits on the waterfront.  I thought it dated back to the 18th century -- ahh no.  It was actually built in the 1920's when the NYC skyline was growing with skyscrapers.  The design of the building was in opposition to the modern design that was becoming popular in other major cities.

City Hall is home to the Nobel Laureate Banquet each year. You can see pictures of what it looks like when filled with Nobel Laureates.  Here are a few fun facts:

• The grand staircase where guests of honor enter into the main hall was one of 5 options.  The architect had his wife wear high heels and a long flowing dress and walk up and down the 5 staircase options for a week.  She divorced him before City Hall was finished.  Not sure if it was related to the stairmaster workout she did in high heels or not but I have my suspicions.

the staircase was very comfortable to walk up and down -- it was designed that way intentionally

• The heat comes in through massive holes in the walls. Some rooms have their heating vents disguised -- this one was fairly obvious and apparently didn't work well. It was still cold! 

• The views from almost every room are gorgeous.  I can only imagine what it looks like in the summer.

• Weddings are very popular at City Hall and there is a 6 month wait list. Wedding ceremonies are held every Saturday 2pm-6pm.  Couples have the option of a "short" ceremony or a "long" ceremony.  The long ceremony is 3 minutes and the short ceremony is 40 seconds.  About 50 couples are married each Saturday -- that's one about every 5-6 minutes!
• The Gold Room is a mosaic room that is overwhelmingly bright with real 24K gold mosaic tiles.  The local Swedes did not approve of the artist's rendition of famous Swedish figures and did not appreciate the many errors made during the building of the room.  Give the artist a break -- he asked for 7 years and was given 2.  It is still an impressive room -- gaudy or not.

The Lady of Lake -- local Swedes thought she was ugly though the artists used his wife as inspiration.  They did not divorce -- unlike the City Hall's architect and his wife... 

the artist decapitated St. George at the top of the wall as they failed to take into account the marble benches.  The entire scene gets squished at the top -- the horse is missing his body

• I walked up and down the staircase enjoying the "comfortable" tread and imagining a room filled with great energy, positivity and honor.  What a great place to hold concerts, banquets and important events.

I would highly recommend the guided tour of City Hall.  It was 45 minutes and 80 SEK.  Well worth it!

Exploration -- Gamla Stan

Last weekend we hit up Gamla Stan (Old Town) and we were impressed by the beauty of the 16th century architecture, quaint storefronts, cozy cafes and cobblestone roads.  They block of entire sections of the town so that only pedestrians can enter the roads.  It creates a safe, Disney-like atmosphere.  A few times Jon turned to me and said, "Doesn't it feel like we're at Epcot?"   Thumbs up to Disney for getting it right. Whenever you are in the real place and still yearn for the Disney version, they are doing something amazingly right.

There are narrow alleys all throughout Gamla Stan.  We turned down one that looked like it could be a stand in for Hogwarts.  There was a tunnel like cut through between two streets that gets smaller as you approach the street.  You have to duck down to enter onto the street and step into pure tourist chaos.

Gamla Stan is where you can find all of your "I <3 Sweden" tshirts, reindeer skin rugs, and viking helmets.  Jon was in heaven!  It's also where you can find an American Western store -- complete with a Texas AND Swedish flag.  Fun!

Gamla Stan is about a 20-30 minute walk from our house and you cross over a lot of water.  The walk is absolutely beautiful!

We were just about freezing after spending 2+ hours walking around outside so we decided to warm up with some coffee and semla.  Semla is perhaps the most delicious pastry we've had thus far in Stockholm and this one did not disappoint.  It's a hollowed out bun filled with a fluffy light almond cream with a dusting of powdered sugar.  Delicious! I could eat this and drink coffee every afternoon!  For whatever reason, powdered sugar is guaranteed to uplift your spirits.

First week of work!

After spending the last 2+ months preparing for our move to Sweden, I realized last Sunday that I was ACTUALLY here to work! I had completely overlooked that fact, probably because I was so used to starting new “jobs” every few months as a consultant, but overall things have gone great.

My first work interaction was actually last Thursday. I was scheduled to show up at the office to fill out some paperwork and get my laptop / phone. Filling out the paperwork with the HR lady showed me the both sides of my new socialist policies. On one side, I will be contributing a portion of my income each week to what they helpfully explain is called the “Robin Hood Tax”, which truly “steals from the rich (loose definition obviously) and gives to the poor”. On the other side, Calvin is starting to bring something to the table! The Swedish government is giving us $125 per month just for having a kid under 18yrs old! So now we have him learning / managing his budget, and he knows that he can’t go over his diaper allowance for a month, so he has to ration out his “business”.

Adding value Dad! High Five!

Other fun facts from the paperwork were that the Ericsson name pretty much gives me free range in Sweden. I get discounts on taxis, rental cars, restaurants and Swedish language classes, but the best part is that a non-ericsson person would require 4 months to get a visa, their ID card in 2 weeks and another 2 weeks for their “social security number” equivalent. Instead, we received our visa in 4 days, our ID cards in 3 days and will have our personnummers by early next week. I honestly don’t even think we provided them with the right paperwork, but as long as my Ericsson job offer was there, they didn’t check the fine print too much. Lis and I were trying to figure out a US company that could have that kind of pull, and only thought of maybe Goldman Sachs, Apple or Google.

Now to my first day, last Monday. To begin with, E// (ericsson) set us up with a great location. We are 2 blocks from the blue-line on the subway, and I can take that directly to the E// offices. So it is approximately 30 minutes door to door. We have gotten very used to the Stockholm scenery, and it’s actually pretty fun when the subway leaves the Stockholm tunnels and it looks like you just entered a winter wonderland. Just snow covered birch trees and fields. Every morning I’ve seen dogs running or folks cross country skiing. It’s a much more picturesque view of winter, which is fun.

(not the best picture from a moving train, but trust me)

Once arriving at work, I was prepared for a full European work experience – showing up early, having 8-10 coffee breaks, then gone by 4:30pm. Unfortunately, that has not been the case…but it’s still been a really great experience. E// has 20+ buildings in the small tech town, and the building I am in was built just a few years ago. It has a very modern, Swedish style with exposed elevators, and no wasted flourishes.

(elevator bank)

(front lobby)

Interesting notes from the first week:

1) I HATE THE SWEDISH KEYBOARD. They needed to make space for Sweden’s extraneous letters, and so everything is messed up. It’s like I am typing for the first time. Punctuation marks aren’t in the right places, the enter and shift key are not “double width”, and the numbers keys have two “alternate” icons. Yes, it took me 15 minutes to figure out how to do the @ key. After not thinking about typing for years, it kills me every time I need to spend 20 seconds when I need to use a backslash or a question mark.

(you have no idea how long this blog took me to type)

2) I HATE THE EUROPEAN NUMBER FORMATS. Using excel, the comma used to separate thousands is now a period. And the period used to separate dollars and cents is now a comma. So far at least, every time I enter a number in excel, I get an error message when I try to add them up. Fun times for a analysis-heavy job.

DONE WITH THE HATE

3) I like that from when I walk into my building until I get to my cube, I pass at least 3 very high quality coffee machines. Coffee is huge in Sweden, and they just pass out free coffee like it’s good for you. For some reason they do not put cream in their coffee though, and it was fun when I selected the option with cream and sugar in front of my co-workers. They all tried to fix my mistake, until one asked me “did you MEAN to order that?”

4) I LOVE that every Friday afternoon they bring up a huge tray of pastries and each department on my floor takes their turn having a fika – just eating food and hitting up the coffee machine

(any kind of coffee you want, as long as you don't like cream)

(no idea what these were, but they were tasty)

5) For all the coffee machines, they do not have any water fountains in the building. Evidently I am the only one that cannot subsist solely on dark roast. I need to fill up my water cup (patriots themed of course) in the bathroom sink. Pretty gross actually…

6) The bathroom situation is kind of different. Instead of an American-style, men’s or ladies’ room, there are 6-7 individual bathrooms with gender icons on the door. Each has a sink and toilet, and is completely private.

(so private)

(bigger than my apartment bathroom??? very possible)

7) I like that my desk moves from sitting to standing height with a touch of a button. Standing isn’t an option I would choose permanently, but I like being able to switch it up between the two.

(out of order picture of the lobby on our floor - with someone hitting up the coffee machine)

(my desk is the one with the computer on)

(down low when I want to chill)

(up high when I'm feeling energetic)

8) I like that E// cafeteria offers some pretty healthy options. I LOVE that you can load up your tray with as much as you want of that healthy option and it is all the same cost. Do you want 1 piece of fish? 65kr. Do you want 4 pieces of fish, 3 potatoes, half a loaf of freshly sliced bread and a salad? 65kr. Do you want water to drink? No add’l charge. Oh you want beers from the keg they have set up? Go have at it, 65 kr still. I haven’t partaken of those beers yet, but I’m intrigued to say the least. It’s like the Swedish people aren’t gluttons out to take advantage of the system. Just taking what they “need”, and not eating until they are sick to their stomachs and hammered. Well, I’ll teach them how ‘merica does.

(no pictures of our cafeteria keg, sorry)

Overall though, things have gone really well. The work is picking up and I will become a lot busier I’m sure. Everyone has been really great to work with, and that’s all you can really ask for in the first week. Looking forward to uploading more pics and blogs soon!